grumpyvoices.com

Stories from Frank and Nate

2010-11-09T10:41:00.000-08:00

During yesterday's public memorial service for Maurice Lucas, there arose a few choice stories about the man.

When former NBA big man Frank Brickowski got to the podium, he talked of his rookie season with the Seattle Sonics. He mentioned a time when he was sitting down for dinner with the team - and the veteran Maurice sat next to him. Frank admitted being intimidated by Luke, but the thing that came next made it even more interesting. Maurice had brought a friend. On Frank's other side sat Magic Johnson...a guest of Maurice for the dinner. Maurice turned to Frank. "Do you talk, rook?" Frank froze. After a moment, he decided to feign deafness - and turned to Magic to make conversation. Before he could speak, Magic turned and said, "The man ASKED you if you talk." After the initial hazing, the two became close friends.

Later, when Maurice was sick in the hosptial, Frank would come to visit - more often than Maurice could bear. On one evening, Frank had showed up just to sit and read in the corner. Maurice wanted him to go, but Frank persisted - wanting to be near. He later fell asleep reading his book. In the morning, Frank awoke to the feeling of something on his face. He opened his eyes to find little balled up pieces of paper on him and around him on the floor. He had fallen asleep with his mouth open....and Maurice had decided to practice his shot, with little balls of Kleenex.

Finally, a remembrance from Nate McMillan...

When Nate was a rookie with the Sonics, he had a defining moment with Luke. One day, Nate was warming up for a practice. Across from him sat veteran center George Johnson, leaning on a soda vending machine. "Hey rook....why don't you get me a soda?" Johnson barked. Nate leaned forward. "You're sitting next to the pop machine. Why don't you get one?" Johnson frowned..."I said...why don't you get me a soda. Rook?" Again, Nate offered logic as a solution. Johnson stood up and walked over to McMillan, who was streching on floor. Just then, Maurice walked in carrying his game shoes. "What up, George? There a problem?" George told Maurice that the rookie wasn't following the protocol, which included a few sundry chores for the vets. Maurice dropped his shoes. "Don't mess with my rook, George. McMillan is mine."

Great memories...

Farewell Maurice Lucas

2010-11-08T00:22:00.000-08:00

My son and I had the privilege of meeting Maurice at an in-store event in October 2007. When I walked in and saw him, I was taken aback. There were no lines to meet him. It was fairly quiet. He was just sitting at a table, talking up some of the event staff and a few employees. Walking up to him, I introduced myself and my son and we talked for a while.

I passed him a DVD copy of the 1978 Trailblazer documentary Fast Break - and asked him about it. He said he'd seen it when it was shown in Portland theaters back in 1978. I told him he should show the film to the team - so they could better understand the Trailblazers legacy. He took the DVD and said he'd watch it again during his next plane flight.

Luke was the first real basketball player my son had met. He posed with us for photos and signed autographs for Greer. It was wonderful to meet him and he was very kind to my son. When Greer heard about Luke's battle with cancer, he drew up a couple of get-well cards. He found the autographed team photo Maurice gave him and recreated the photo on the card. Hopefully, they reached him - and helped cheer him up for a moment.

After having seen Fast Break, and read Larry Colton's IDOL TIME and David Halberstam's THE BREAKS OF THE GAME, I have an even better respect for him. He was a great basketball player, and an even greater man.

Godspeed Maurice...we'll miss you.

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2010-05-01T05:28:00.001-07:00

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Resurfacing in Oly...

2010-04-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

Why is it the only time I blog is when I'm visiting the inlaws? Must be the water.

So it's been a while. Almost four months since the last time I posted. Much water under the bridge...and many things much as they were before.

Still no gig at his point. I've had three interviews over the past four months and none of them panned out. Pity...I would have been a good fit at least a couple of them. I blame recent layoffs and an employers market. That perhaps....and my desire to shake things up by going a different path. But more on that later....

Greer is almost done with kindergarten. He's enjoyed his teacher and friends, and even got to see his mom perform opera in front of the whole school. He's also becoming a jock of sorts. He loves basketball and soccer, and thrives on competition - or at least the illusion. Reading is starting to take off - as is math. It's amazing and beautiful to watch...your child becoming their own person.

Been film programming like mad the last few weeks. Booked at least four documentaries into the Portland Underground fest in June. All worthy of wide distribution, but still gaining attention. "Fast Break", the 1977 Trailblazer documentary I've been promoting is coming back to the CST for my birthday on the 29th. I'm very excited to be building an event in late June for art car maven Harrod Blank - on the heels of his award-winning documentary "Automorphosis". Also looking forward to the Portland premiere (via PUFF) of "The Shark Is Still Working", the long-awaited JAWS documentary I helped work on recently. Sometime this year, my acting debut will surface with "This Is Now", a new film from David Waingarten. Distribution via the web. Very interested to see the final cut.

All in all...a bunch of stuff to stew on.

Greermonster is six!

2009-12-28T22:49:00.000-08:00

I can scare believe it. Six years.....already.

Still remember standing there (barely) when he was born. Absolutely stunning and beautiful and terrifying and real. My son. Now he's big enough to knock me over.

Today I tried to do everything he liked.

Got him some new shoes - which he picked out. Skateboarding shoes with a little style. For his birthday lunch, he bravely tried some new food - some variations on sushi - including a tray of fried coconut shrimp and orange slices....birthday complements from the chef.

I got a wild hair and decided to stop by a sporting goods store in Northeast. Greer had been asking for real soccer ball, so that wish was fulfilled...along with a Pee-Wee football, just for fun.

No birthday exodus would be complete without a stop at the Avalon. "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" was playing, and I knew Mr. Greer would be up for another blitz against the evil Imperial Empire - via the Star Wars video game near by.

After we had blown away the last Death Star (and the lot of our nickels), we headed home to receive a gourmet dinner of Shrimp and Sausage Jambalya, courtesy of a good friend (Verna Dice). Before the feast, Greer opened a small cache of birthday presents - including his first remote control car. While we dined, the Trailblazers took it to the Sixers - while Greer bounded about the basement, rooting for the home squad.

Not bad for a birthday at home with the family...

Back in Oly for Christmas...

2009-12-24T07:34:00.000-08:00

Been a long time...

As I have mentioned earlier, Facebook has consumed my blog.

No shame in that, other than the withering of my writing skills...and the fear that somehow all my FB entries will be deleted or used against me. Facebook is a great tool for keeping track of people, but it's like crack...something you compusively update and fiddle with.

Anyway...enough of my excuses.

So the holidays have slowed me down enough to help spur a legitamate writing attempt. Much has happened since my last post...

* My friend with the problem hasn't changed yet - and as a result has lost his family. He still sees them...they just have moved on and live someplace new. No divorce...yet. I have stepped back somewhat...knowing that he has to make the decision for himself. Unfortunately, there is more here than just his addiction.

* Got laid off in July....which was a minor surprise. I guess I was the canary in the coal mine. My department was hammered with layoffs not long after my departure.

* Spent the last five months exploring my options - and hoping for something that I could feel satisfied working towards.

* Did my best to enjoy every moment I could away from work. This included multiple camping connections with my folks, another visit to the blueberry fields, a couple hikes at the Ridgefield Refuge, lots of father/son time with Greer, a momentary brush with fame while working as an extra on 'Leverage', some film programming success at the Clinton, salmon fishing with my brother and Dad....and the list goes on.

So yeah...it's been busy, despite being out of work and seeking purpose.

Floating through the 4th

2009-07-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

Another year...another 4th of July in Olympia.

As with past years, we did our best to escape early - fleeing the PDX area on Wednesday evening. Most of the packing had been done the night previous and (for once) it felt like we were actually going to extricate with a minimum of pain and suffering. Greer had his drawing pad, toys, water and snacks. The cats were fed and looked after. The plants were watered.

Amazingly, we managed to get out by 5pm and haul north.

You can tell you're missing out on summer, when you're astonished to arrive at your destination at 8pm - with plenty of daylight to spare. This holiday weekend was our first legitimate vacation since Alex wrapped up "A Little Night Music". To say that I was looking forward to it was an understatement.

Even though we're back in town, I'm still wondering when I'll get my vacation...

wondering what to do...

2009-05-12T22:58:00.000-07:00

So....I have a very close friend who has a problem.

He's in the process of losing everything of value in his life - and is standing on a certain personal precipice. His family is falling apart and he's in such a personal twister that he doesn't see (or care about) what's coming.

Despite the efforts of many to intervene on his (and his family's) behalf - he is still unable to manage his focus enough to keep things together. Since his wife and child left, things have only gotten worse. Old habits and non-communication patterns have reemerged, and the friend I once knew seems greatly diminished. Unemployed and unable to act, this is a man that needs help very quickly.

So what to do?

Many I've talked with have said that problems like his are chronic. The person who has these issues must want to recover and work hard to do so.

What if he doesn't commit?

Do you wait around and watch the train wreck...and do your best to clean up afterwards? How far to you go to help someone, before they are compelled to help themselves?

Am I my brother's keeper?

Ruminations on 38...

2009-04-29T22:21:00.000-07:00

It's late now...and I'm feeling like I should either hit the sack - or watch a movie. If I watch a movie, I'll wake up at 2am to the repeating DVD menu soundtrack, awkwardly listing on the couch, a few pillows propping me up - with my cat's ass firmly nested on my head.

This is the sublime birthday present of pre-middleagedness.

I don't feel old...at least most of the time. In my 38 years, I've come to accept certain things. Gravity, for one, will always get you down. I could say that that I feel more centered, more balanced...and that might make it easier to stomach, but in the end, I fear gravity is the enemy. I sense this most keenly when I see Greer leap from the top rung of the playground play structure. My knees wince knowingly. Thankfully, the boy is made of rubber and Kevlar...at least for now.

My memory seems to be going as well. When I was younger, I used to try and remember everything I had done during the day while I was lying in bed....using my mind's eye to backtrack and trace the significance the day. Now...I am pretty much happy to flush it all and start fresh in the morning. Not to say that one day is the same as the next, but after a few days in the office cube, the week does tend to streamline.

Spent my 38th b-day on the job - trying to work through some new responsibilities. Should have been doing something less job-like.

I had plans to head south to Los Angeles this weekend to attend a the premiere of a documentary I had a hand in, but the fates conspired against me...and so, I'll be staying home instead. Probably for the best....save some money.....although you'd have a hard time convincing me of it - at least until this weekend is over. The documentary I speak of is about the legacy of JAWS - one of my all-time favorite films. I contributed some vintage news footage that snagged me a film archivist credit - therefore cementing me deep in the background of something greater. At least in my mind....

Ah well...

One bright spot for the birthday boy. After taking Greer to aikido practice, I came home to a yummy dinner and presents. My very own pair of blueberry bushes and an outdoor firepit for use during the summer. Oh yeah...and a pair of bearfoot slippers are on the way as well.

Such are the tender trappings of 38 years.

Greermonster art

2009-04-24T23:00:00.001-07:00

Some new and cool artwork from the Greermonster.

I'm not exactly sure what this one is, but the curls and sculpture-like construct made it impossible not to photograph.

Now...if I could only get him to do that on paper.

Facebook killed my Blog

2009-04-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

Ok...I told myself I wouldn't do it. I already had too much going on to add yet another item to the fray. I held off responding to friendly invitations, and resisted the advances of yet another potential commitment.

Then my old high school friend Lauren Henry invited me to check out Facebook. Damn her eyes! After I took the plunge and set up a page for myself; the friends, old acquaintances and myriad lost work pals came streaming back into my life - or at least my contact list.

All at the expense of this blog.

While I was FB'ing my latest...grumpyvoices.com looked on morosely - bearing the sad news of Schatzi's demise for more than four months before I decided to freshen things up.

Oh...the shame.

In that time, a great deal has happened.

* Christmas came and went - as did the epic snowfall.
* I had a great turnout for my MLK tribute at the Clinton Street Theater.
* Celebrated Obama's inauguration with 250 screaming liberals at the CST - on the big screen!
* Saw a bunch of operas - and a few Blazer games with my Mom.
* Watched in the Rose Garden as Brandon Roy racked up 52 on Phoenix - and scored a game-winner against New York.
* Helped break up a fight at a party for James Westby's new film "Rid of Me".
* Got my contract with Regence renewed until December 2009...whoo-hoo!
* Saw "Wicked" at the Keller...a truly enjoyable Broadway experience.
* Watched Greer win his first competitive award for Aikido...still wondering how that happened.
* Won a tidy sum playing the Oregon Lottery...
* Commemorated what would have been the third birthday of Elle and Quinn - by spending the day with Alexis and Greer at the Oregon Garden.

Suffice it to say, it has not been boring these past few months. Hopefully, I'll find the urge to return to my writing again...since Facebook only slightly satisfies in that department.

I'm crossing my fingers.

Snow!

2008-12-23T23:17:00.000-08:00

The year that Greer was born, there were rumblings of snow. As we nested inside the recovery room at Sunnyside KP, the skies fell and blanketed the area with a fine white coat. Thankfully, there was a break in the weather, and we were able to amble home - just before the next wave buried the area in an Antarctic jumble of ice and snow drifts.

Five years later, almost to the date - the big weather has returned. As we placed a plant on top of Schatzi's final resting place, the fat snowflakes began to fall...a harbinger of things to come. For over a week, winter held court in Portland - dumping almost two feet on our home. In true Portland fashion, a little rain fell inbetween snow flurries, turning the whole mess into a skating rink. Streets were sheets of ice and chains were required - just in time for the Christmas rush.

Alex, Greer and I hibernated...much as we did in 2003. Laptops dialed into the office, meetings were held at home, and the afternoons were punctuated with occasional outside visits for a snowball fight with the boy. As Christmas Eve - and our semi-annual family dinner loomed, the subject of the holiday roast came to the fore. The meat was loitering at Safeway, a few miles away across the frozen wasteland.

It was time to shovel the drive.

Wrapped in my green parka and sporting my all-weather boots, I grabbed a shovel and began to dig out. First a layer of powdered snow...then ice....then snow...then another wicked ice coating. The VW was entombed - so much so that it took 15 steaming pots of water to unthaw it enough for me to break apart the ice with a shovel (not good for the paint job BTW). Greer assisted for about 10 minutes, then retreated - as I continued to dig a path to the road. Alexis would peek between the blinds occasionally, to make sure I hadn't expired next to the rose bushes. By far the best workout of the year...or the closest I've been to a heart attack at least.

After high lining the car on an Antarctic snow berm that separated my driveway from the road, I managed to rescue the holiday roast from Safeway. I felt the hunter/gatherer gene surge within, and carefully navigated home - past legions of snowbound vehicles - the car brimming with all manner of sustenance.

An Angel Gets His Wings...

2008-12-19T16:10:00.000-08:00

"By associating with the cat, one only risks becoming richer." - Colette

It's been a while since I had a pet pass away.

When I was growing up, we a had a grey tabby named Keylo (I named her, of course) - who followed me around - slept in my bed and was my confidant / furry best friend.

My mom had birds - and I had a cat.

Keylo lived a long life - 17 years years thereabouts....and finally had to be put to sleep after becoming sick and incontinent. My parents had to do the deed - and decided to spare me the heartache by having her euthanized while I was on a church skiing trip. My parents cried in the car after leaving the vet's office.

I mourned that cat for a while. Even though she became distant and crabby near the end, she would always be the one who hid under my covers and purred. The one I had grown up with.

Today, I am my parents.

After 14 years of life, our oldest cat Schatzi had become sick with a tumor on his thyroid. We did what we could to keep him happy and comfortable, but in less than a year he had dropped to only 4 pounds - and had begun to throw up blood this past week.

We made a last ditch effort with the vet to hydrate, medicate and feed him - but he had lost interest in food and was noticeably uncomfortable and sad. The final decision was made this morning - after we found more blood - and came to terms with the fact that he was suffering needlessly.

As Alexis called the vet to make arrangements, we stood together and wept.

Schatzi was the "male of the house" before I made scene - and over time, he had become the "old man" with whom we snuggled, scratched and shared our lives with. When Alexis adopted him from the humane society, he had been hit by a car. The vet who attended to him after the accident couldn't bear to put him down, and put pins his broken back legs pro bono. After Alex picked him up, the vet did all of the post-adoption follow-up work for free. He was blessed from a young age to be surrounded by cat lovers - and eventually found additional affection from me and his adopted cat sister - Pogue.

Before we left for the vet, we all said goodbye. Greer wondered why he was only going to have one cat - and why Schatzi was dying. He touched the old man's head and ears - and gave him one last scratch. Pogue ambled up and sat next to him, somewhat anxious - and wondering if she could get in on the love. I took pictures - and tried to capture this family moment, like I have in the past. Wanting to remember.

I took Greer to school, gave him a hug and then met Alexis at the vet. It was cold, and the roads were covered with melting ice and snow from a week's worth of winter weather.

In the end, it was a quick and peaceful - if deeply saddening moment. The nurse had Alex sign the necessary paperwork and settle the bill, while Schatzi was given a catheter in his front leg. We cried and kissed him goodbye one last time - and then the doctor administered an overdose of anesthetic. The effect was almost immediate. Within moments, he lay down on his side and quietly expired. It was over within a minute.

Outside, snow began to fall in large flakes. Angelic and white.

He was many things to us.

He was the nurse cat when we were sick or sad - and had a loud, purr inside of him.

Once he found his place on you, he was an excellent sleeping or nesting companion.

He was cordial and communicative - and able to "converse" in his own cat language with anyone willing to engage him.

He loved to be pushed to the floor and given a hardy belly scratch. A good push-spin on a linoleum floor was also gladly accepted.

He loved ribbons, wrapping paper and climbed into any open box - especially at Christmas.

He had a beard fetish - and would groom me until I could not longer bear it.

He was Schatzi - our bright-eyed treasure.

-----------------------------------------------------

A good friend of mine died today,
I stood at his side - and cried - as he faded away.

A noble beast of apple face

White fur, velvet paws

He lay still - in a quiet grace.

Dear Schatzi, we knew and loved you so,

but we know you're at rest - so we let you go.

T-Day and after

2008-11-30T09:21:00.000-08:00

Another year, another Thanksgiving in Lacey.

Before trekking north on Wednesday - the car was in the shop, victim of an engine light. Nothing terribly serious - but somehow amazingly expensive. Catalytic converter had bit the bullet and needed replacement. Still driveable, though.

So north to Washington - a little traffic in town, but a fairly easy drive. Arrived before 8pm - and watched everyone else hit the sack at 9pm. I ended up watching TV and crashing the couch.

Thanksgiving Thursday morning brought the odyssey that is dinner prep. Alex was busy with the turkey, sweet potatoes, and everything else. I pretended to look after the boy - some coloring time here, a movie there. Kung Fu Panda was on the menu - along with the inevitable yummy side dishes and pumpkin pie.

After we stuffed ourselves and Greer had hit the hay, I jumped ship for the multi-plex - and a screening of "Twilight" - the film I worked on (as an extra) earlier this year. It was bearable...and I didn't make the final cut. Ah well, I have fond memories of Vernonia and Oregon City. Maybe when the DVD comes out?

Friday brought a little field trip. Around mid-day, Alex, Greer and I left the house and drove to the Nesqually Wildlife Refuge north of Lacey. It was sprinkling out, but endurable for the purpose of bird watching / nature hiking. About half-way through, Greer began to lay on the mustard....complaining about the hike, and "how we will never get back". A and I, prodded him along with the usual amount of baiting and encouragement. Greer would have none of it. He drug his feet, and wailed aloud - like it was the Bataan death march or some such nonsense.

Thankfully, all things must come to an end...

Back home, we retired for the evening - and broke open "The Golden Compass"....a mixed, but ultimately satisfying fantasy -- even if it threatens to put you to sleep.

Saturday was a surprise of sorts. I had spoken with my old college friend, Phil...and we agreed to meet up for coffee in Old Tacoma - near the Museum of Glass. A little morning respite from the womb-like existence in Lacey. Managed to survive a freeway cloverleaf nightmare - and was pleasantly surprised by the great art and architecture that abounded. Much like Olympia and Seattle, Tacoma has an understated northwest vibe....almost European in feel. The Museum of Glass was a definite return visit - and an open recommendation for anyone with an appreciation for glass art. It was great to see Mr. Phil...and I look forward to our next connection.

All in all....another enjoyable turkey day break. We'll be back in December for a post-Christmas stay.

Greermonster loves leaves

2008-11-16T08:27:00.000-08:00

Remembering Harvey...

2008-11-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

It was the event that I almost missed.

When I heard that Gus Van Sant would be directing a bio-pic of the late gay rights leader Harvey Milk, I was happy to hear it. If anyone could bring the dramatic and ultimately tragic story of his life to the screen, Gus could do it.

For me, Harvey is a true American hero....a tireless, frank and committed soul who stood up and helped lead the movement for human/civil rights - not just for GLTB folks, but for his entire community. Despite his own insecurities, he answered the call.

Flash forward to last week.....and the Portland benefit premeire of "Milk" at the Schnitz.

I had known about it for a month....asked a couple friends about going....but at the time, I was still jobless and the money needed to go elsewhere. I held back and decided to wait for the release.

As soon as I started back at Regence, the nagging in my head began. I was going to regret missing this one....and besides....it WAS a benefit for Outside/In - an advocacy group for street kids. Before long, I was standing in line at the PCPA...picking up the tickets for Paul, Michael and myself - and getting excited again.

I was not dissappointed.

Van Sant's "Milk" is great marriage of art and history. Instead of a dry portrait of an assasinated leader, we get a beautifully rendered flavor of the times, and an intimate vision of a man finding his place within a community and history. Casting is brilliant. Penn inhabits Harvey Milk in a way that few actors I believe would be capable. His physicality and energy is very believable - and it's easy to forget what actor you're watching. After a while...it's just Harvey. I could go on about the supporting cast...all very solid in their own way. James Franco (Scotty) stands out as well....showing his range and willingness to expand as an actor.

Kudos all the way around...I see this film getting several nods at Oscar time.

Additionally...Rob Epstein's Oscar-winning 1984 documentary "The Times of Harvey Milk" is a definite must for anyone who enjoyed this film. I watched it right after "Milk" - and am still impressed with how affecting it is.

A New Day...

2008-11-04T22:34:00.000-08:00

I couldn't be any happier.

It's as if a huge weight has been removed, and in it's place, a hope for something great.

Despite fear, anger, ignorance and eight years of soul-sucking influence within the corridors of executive power - the American people have finally elected a president who just might change things for the better in this country.

It's been a long road, but the mountaintop is within view.

Coming Home to Roost

2008-11-03T22:56:00.000-08:00

So here we are again. On the edge, leaning into one of the most important elections in our nation's history.

After eight years, the chickens are finally coming home to roost for the Grand Old Party. Average citizens are feeling the effects of economic downturn, war and greed - and are looking to shift gears.

Change - whether it be real or imagined, is the winning hand.

Democrats will once again control the executive and legislative branches - and will certainly have their work cut out for them. This is an opportunity for good democratic things to be done. I only hope our elected officials have the courage and responsibility to pursue the potential that is at hand.

Halloween - and Crumpa drops by...

2008-11-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a week.

All the hubbub of learning the new gig has turned time back on it's head. My first week back at Regence was a whirlwind of meetings, brain dumps and the usual mental traffic. Suffice to say, time blew by, and we were suddenly knocking on the door of Halloween - and the emergence of Mr. Roboto - in all his silvery glory.

After a long day at the office, we quickly connected at home and headed over to a nearby senior center to see Marcia's family and visit her grandma. The girls were drop-dead cute...especially Keira, who was in full Wizard of Oz mode, dressed as Dorothy...right down to the red shoes.

After a short visit (and and few hundred photos), we headed over to visit Chris, Windy and Ember - and try the house to house routine in their neighborhood. Weather forcasts were thankfully wrong - and instead of slogging through a night rain, the three of us enjoyed a quick and enjoyable night of ghosts and ghoulies. Greermonster cleaned up in the packaged sugar department - and was the frequent recipient of positive comments on his robotic veneer.

Home again....Greer counted out his candy, and then promptly sacked out, just before his Crumpa arrived for a quick overnight visit. While our little beastie cut a few logs, we holed up in the basement, and watched the Blazers win a thrilling home opener against San Antonio.

The next morning we enjoyed a leisurely wake-up, and set ourselves to visit the 72nd Avenue Pub for brunch. Opting for footpower, we hiked the short distance to our favorite new hang and settled in for some fantastic grub. Even Crumpa (and his hollow leg) were satiated.

All in all, a great way to start a weekend.

Blazermaniacs...

2008-10-27T23:52:00.001-07:00

A New Place...

2008-10-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

Really quickly, before I fall into bed....

I want to draw attention to a new addition in my spotty neighborhood. The 72nd Avenue Pub - near SE 72nd and Flavel has been open for about five weeks and has quickly become my new favorite place for a meal. Owner Bill - is always around to chat with, and they have a tight menu with solid breakfast, lunch and dinner options w/various beers on tap. I've eaten there four times in the past two weeks and not been disappointed yet. It has a McMenamins look, with more food options (hamburgers and sandwiches mostly) - and a laid-back diner approach. I suspect this might become a future hangout - as they also have an HD flatscreen that they will show "the big game" on.

I see a burger, a televised Trailblazer game, and Greer making a visit with me in the near future. Definitely.

Had dinner (at the 72nd pub) with my friend David, who came to visit from Rochester. It was one of those fine conversations that leaves you excited for the next topic of discussion. A film is on our minds right now. Something that will be fun, challenging and special - or a nightmare of varying shades.

I believe the former.

Mr. McGowan, I presume?

2008-10-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

In a chance convergence of family and acting, I volunteered to join my relatives Mark and Donnah Hinds, and be part of "Spirits of Oregon City", a cemetery walking tour of historical actors.

The focus for this performance were the citizens and leaders buried at Mt. View Cemetery - within historic Oregon City. Our individual performances were staged in the proximity to the person's gravemarker and consisted of a two-minute monologue regarding the times and personal history. The audience for this acting were 14 busloads of attendees who roamed the cemetery in groups with a historical guide.

My contribution came in the visage of former OC mayor and electrical entrepreneur, F. O. McGowan....the man who helped bring electricity to Oregon City - and eventually Portland.

It's a Major Award

2008-10-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

Yeah....that thing on your right is what you think it is.

An Oscar.

It's heavier than you would imagine, and it was won by Barbara Trent in 1991 - for her documentary "The Panama Deception" - an investigation into the political machinations behind the invasion of Panama prior to the first Gulf War. Trent came to Portland last week to share her latest film about some Iraq war veterans who are speaking out against the current war(s). Part of her time here was spent at Portland Community College - Sylvania, where she spoke with students and had a public screening of the Panama Deception.

Aside from the respect that I have for her activism and filmmaking - it was great to see that she was down-to-earth - and willing to pass the gold man around. While the screenings and subsequent discussion were serious and passionate, it was funny to see students quickly pulling out their camera phones and geeking out on the Hollywood trophy.

It was also a reminder that important work is sometimes justly rewarded.

Speaking of rewards, I was recently hired for another contract with Regence. 5 months of Project Coordinartion starting Monday.

It must be Fall.

Just a photo I like

2008-10-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

Mr. Roboto

2008-10-11T23:50:00.000-07:00

Greermonster will be GreerRobot for Halloween this year. Mom decrees it!

After hunting around at Michaels for supplies - and hand painting some of the elements, Alexis came up with this genius costume for our boy.

The flexy-tubing for the arms was my idea.

Hoping to gather different arms of the family together to share in the trick-or-treat marathon.

Greer, Ember, Keira and Mia. Oh...it's going to be cute.

BirdFest 2008

2008-10-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

The beginning of a big weekend....and woolly bear encounters.

Folks came down early to visit and join Alexis, Greer and I at Bird Fest up in Ridgefield, Washington. The Ridgefield downtown area transforms yearly into a mecca for bird lovers and bluegrass music fans. Kids busy themselves under the activity tent - cutting out paper owls and getting face painted feathers. People wander from the Lions Club hot dog table - and visit the many bird and nature-themed booths within the community center.

Greer mouthed a hamburger - and wanted to see the real deal. The other half of the day was pursuing just that notion. A relaxed drive through the south unit of the preserve.

From the car you could see hawks, herons, geese and ducks by the number. Despite the influx of traffic, it was quite a sight for all of us.

Along the way, we pulled over at a bird blind - and Greer encountered a big, woolly-bear caterpillar. In fact, there was no way you could avoid them...they were everywhere on the trail and Greer wanted to take every one of them home.

----------------- haiku

Blue Heron fishing tadpoles. Canada geese fly.
A hawk sits on a bare branch. Ducks call on the pond.

The Mania is coming...

2008-10-04T00:33:00.001-07:00

For all those who don't know about my enthusiasm for the Portland Trailblazers this year, my apologies for the next few paragraphs...

The 2008-09 season is finally upon us...and as the leaves fall, the Trailblazers rise. Sorry if this is laying it on a bit thick, but the newest team is definitely something to write home about. All the more evident this evening at the Rose Garden, as the TBs celebrated their start with the annual Fan Fest - an open-to-the-public 40-minute scrimmage and PR event.

Brought along Greer and Dave to share the fun. After struggling through traffic, we pushed into one of the side entrances - and ran into backup center Joel Pryzbilla! As we spun through the turnstiles, I held Greer up - and Joel gave him two high-fives. Apparently the TBs had different players at some of the entrances...giving the fans a little personal contact, which was an added bonus.

Once in our seats, the game got rolling in fine style. It didn't take long before the new troika of rookies (Oden, Fernandez, Bayless) began to deliver. While the hype was all over Oden, the exciting play belonged to Fernandez and Bayless. Rudy F. showed immediate veteran qualities - running hard and shooting with a high percentage. Bayless continued to impress with his push at point guard, and instincts on the outside - and in the paint. Oden finally pulled in his first homecoming - and had a pair of dunks and a free throw. He looked a little out of synch, but you had to know his defence was changing the game. His blocks / rebounds / point-scored ratio are going to be even sometimes. Only time will tell (and health) how dominant he will be.

It's a little scary to think about what the addition of these three players will do to the Blazers. All three are candidates for Rookie of the Year, and I guarantee at least one of them will land it for 2008-09. If Rudy is as automatic as he was tonight, he'll have it wrapped up - despite all the hype around Oden.

The rest of the team tore it up as usual. Adridge showed his All-Star qualities - as did Brandon Roy. Both played strongly and set the tone. The real show happened between competing forwards Travis Outlaw and Martell Webster. Every time one would score, the other would follow suit soon afterwards. Both were impressive, although I think Outlaw may have the edge for the starting job.

It's a good time to be swept up in Blazermania...

Quick weekend makeover

2008-09-29T16:11:00.000-07:00

Since we made our home in SE PDX back in 2003, the house has been in need of a paint job.

My Papa was good about painting a side of the house every year, but that had stopped happening a while ago, and things were starting to bubble, peel and crack. Years would come and go - and the job would be brought up and promptly shelved for lack of time or money. The roof and insulation upgrade were taken care of, but the exterior paint job lingered.

Well....this year we got it done.

With the help of my buddies Dave and Dan, we conquered the mountain of cleaning, sanding, recaulking and window taping that surrounds a singular house painting project. With about a week's worth of grunt work done, my Dad dropped in with his paint compressor unit and painted everything in about 5 hours. Our place on 72nd was built in the 40s - and has always been either white or cream color. In recent years, cream had been the trend, but our latest attempt returns it to white.

Dad stayed over Saturday (we went to see Eagle Eye that evening) and Sunday - until we finally had everything finished and cleaned up. All that's left is the trim, which is currently slated to be black - per Alexis' vision.

Next mission? The reclamation of the basement? You never know...

Feeling Crabby

2008-09-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

In a last ditch effort to enjoy summer, my folks decided to escape to the coast. Things are different now, compared with the long-passed summers....when my family would rent a house near Rockaway Beach. Life revolved around hauling in crab from Garibaldi and Nahalem Bay, and generally forgetting the world for a week.

The feeling of drying sand on my feet as I climbed the graying wood steps to the sliding glass door. Sand dollars in a shoebox. Sneaking cigarettes behind the sand dunes. Baba sitting in a chair - with her small feet on the ottoman - reading a book. Playing ping-pong in the garage with my Papa. Sandcastle fortresses by the dozen.

So I was happy that Greer and I could join them - if only for a couple days. The folks were situated in an RV park about a stones' throw from our old stomping grounds....between Nadonna Beach and Wheeler.

And of course, we would be going crabbing.

My folks are great at spoiling us with good food. Upon our arrival on Friday afternoon, Mom casually mentioned that we would be having razor clams for dinner. While this didn't count much in Greer's sphere....I was very pleased. And so it went, some time for visiting and fun with Greer.....and then the food. Mmmmmm....and discussion of our crabbing plans for Saturday. This would be Greer's introduction to the hunt.

After some fiddling around, Dad and I determined to rent an aluminum boat, crab nets and bait from a nearby dock for $65....a tidy sum for the two-hour privilege of working your tail off for a few pounds (hopefully) of crab meat.

After idling into the bay, we quickly realized something. This was not my father's 26-foot Bayliner. That boat had been sold a while back. We were two big men (and one little guy) in a smallish, moderately stable boat. So be it.

Greer was very anxious to hold a crab, and made sure we understood the urgency. The rings and traps went in, and we waited as long as we could (about five minutes) before making a run. Rings up....nothing but oversize females and kelp. Rings down. Trap up....two old keepers with a deep purple/brown shells. Trap down. Into the long Styrofoam cooler go two future crab louies.

Greer eagerly grabbed at one of the small ones - on his way back to the ocean. Instead of tossing him back, Greer sought to examine - to his undoing.

Pinch pinch....and then the howling.

No matter what I did to try and draw him back in, his interest in our adventure had receded - and he now eyed our harvest with a certain fear. Every ten minutes would hear a pointed question about when we were going home. Sorry, son....buy the ticket, take the ride.

Two hours later, we returned home tired and soaked to the bone - with nine of the crabby buggers. Dad cleaned them and I boiled them near the dock. As the afternoon waned, all four of us sat out on a picnic bench next to the RV and cracked our hard earned crab.

Greer speared the shell of a leg with one of his utensils - as if exacting a measure of revenge. Then he got bored, and went back to coloring.

High times on the coast indeed.

Blackberry summer

2008-09-10T15:37:00.000-07:00

As Fall begins to swallow Summer, it's always a good idea to hit the trails. Nature is in full transformation - and it's worth every minute you can spare to watch closely.

As I've mentioned before, my Fall refuge is indeed that - a wildlife refuge near Ridgefield, Washington. With the exception of a few trails, the area is largely untraversed - and full of opportunities to see birds in their element. Everything from Great Blue herons, Sandhill cranes, egrets, ducks, geese and songbirds galore.

On this particular morning, Dan and I decided to explore a different arm of the preserve - one that we had been down years previous. After pushing through overgrowth, sticker bushes, etc. we rediscovered a spot we had been to before - and sat there in the sun - watching the occasional heron or duck glide in and out of view.

The best was yet to come though...

On the way home, we found the mother lode of all blackberry patches - adjacent to a side trail. You could stand in one spot and pick a half-gallon, it was THAT good. As we would fill containers and plastic bags we had with blackberries, we would turn a corner and stumble upon another amazing harvest - just waiting to be discovered.

Simply amazing what nature offers for free....

Homecoming for Anne

2008-09-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

It's hard when someone you care about moves away. Instead of meeting up once in a while, you only get an occasional visit - usually when they come back to see family - or during the summer/holidays.

In the case of our old friend Anne, she came back to defend the faith.

Anne and her partner, Nancy have been an important part of our fabric for a while now. When Greer was born they embraced the role of godparents. If we needed a break to escape, they would be there to look after him. When Greer needed someone to hold onto at his sister's funeral, they were there as well. At every turn, whether at church or elsewhere - Greer could always count on a hug/kiss from his comadres.

So, when Anne got the call to attend seminary in Denver, it was hard for all of us. Still....Anne had been called, and you can't ignore that.

As a part of her post-grad confirmation, she returned to Bridgeport UCC to deliver a sermon - and of course, have a little catch up time with the boy. While Greer was his usual shy self initially, it didn't take long before he was hanging off Anne and reconnecting.

It's good to come home....even if it's just for a little while.

Greg Oden swiped my pen

2008-09-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

What a day it has been.

Went to bed late the night before after watching a movie with my buddy Ira. Woke up early this morning by the Greermonster and was prodded down to the basement where Veggietales were quickly brought to life on the TV.

After a quick breakfast, I drove Greer to his morning aikido class, where he listened and followed instruction to the best of his 4-year old ability. Bedecked in a tie-dye and black sweats, he practiced rolling backward over either shoulder. Sensei John stepped in to assist whenever firm direction was needed. Still a lot of right side /left side confusion, but he's getting the picture. Also, he is settled enough to remain still in the learning position and has had senior students to practice with. It seems he's learning from their example.

And now the fun begins....

Not missing a beat, Greer and I bolted over to the Rose Garden for Greg Oden's Summer Slam - an event to help bring attention to local mentoring programs. When we arrived, Greer was gladly overwhelmed by the availability of bouncie castles and inflatable obstacle courses that abounded on site.

My first goal was being achieved. Exhaust the boy, and he will sleep like a stone.

After the second time around in the bouncie castle, we ventured inside of the Rose Garden and discovered that the Blazers basketball floor had been opened for the kids. G made a b-line for the hardwood, and asked for his small rubber basketball - complete with faded Maurice Lucas signature. He ran right into the thick of things and started flinging his toy ball at the hoop. Every which way - the ball went - except into the hoop, but he didn't care. Greer was flush with the Basketball Jones, and was tearing around amidst a crowd of older, and thankfully patient kids. I had a hard time pulling him away.

After heading back outside for more time in the inflatable castle, the man of the hour - Greg Oden - rolled up in a black SUV. He unfolded his towering frame out of the vehicle - sporting a new Obama t-shirt- and was quickly set upon by a mass of kids. I handed Greer his toy ball - and a Sharpie pen - for Oden to sign. And sure enough, the boy got his autograph....right next to Maurice Lucas.

We followed Oden and the crowd to a nearby tent, where he sat all the kids down and spoke briefly about the importance of childhood mentors - after which and challenged anyone to a game of Guitar Hero or Dance Dance Revolution - two of his favorite video games (which were set up inside the Rose Garden).

We decided to head back inside for a root beer and more time on the hardwood. This time, Greer was more interested in playing with/against the big kids and their full-size basketballs. While I took a rest on the sidelines, Greermonster went at it with a vengeance....stepping into a free-for-all where he was the shortest kid on the court.

He was like a little red menace, doggedly following the ball and going after anyone that held it still for a moment. It's a wonder he didn't get mowed over, but those on the court looked after him, and even gave him a couple chances to handle the ball. Still, it was a riot to watch him go at it.

The most fun I had was playing keep away with Greer - once I got a handle on one of the larger balls. I dribbled back and forth with both hands, as boyo would chase the action - invariably knocking it loose and jumping on the ball with a wild giggle. Not long after, Greer found himself in the company of some adoring Blazer Dancers, who posed for a photo - worthy of his locker at school.

Before we took off, we had one more chance to meet Oden, who was inside the Rose Garden - talking to members of the various mentoring programs that had booths.

It was then that I noticed the pen.

In the heat of Greer getting his ball signed, the Sharpie had disappeared...at least from my mind. But, lo and behold there it was - in Greg's mammoth hand - achieving its fifteen minutes of fame as a marker.

It seemed a shame to ask for it back, so instead, we settled for photo with the big guy.

To say that Greer had a full day is somewhat of an understatement. Having met his favorite Trailblazer in person, played on the home court of the Rose Garden - and managing to score a root beer off of Dad....well.....it doesn't get much better than that.

Until he got home, of course....and we decided to forget cooking dinner and order Chinese Delicacy take-out.

Mmmmm...mmmm. Today was a good day.

Needing to be near water

2008-09-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

As Labor Day approached, there were murmurs around the house - that some sort of last minute getaway might be in the mix. A few calls later and a little strategy - and we were rumbling out of town Sunday morning toward Astoria - and the Lamplighter Motel. Upon arrival, we settled into the motel, grabbed our usual burger fix at the Custard King, and rediscovered the cool seasonal Sunday market that is held downtown. As we walked around, Greer pulled down on our arms and pointed out every last thing that he desired - the greatest of which was a day-glo painted "marshmallow gun" - which predictably met the parental wall. Alex foraged for unique Christmas gifts amongst crafts, photos, paintings and fresh produce - as did I - and we ended up with a few winners for December.

Greer was dead set on getting out to the beach after that. Although the sun was waning, we set out for a little time near the water, and managed to catch a breeze as well. The wind was gusty enough for Greer to wrangle his 20 ft long dragon kite, which flew as far as we could let it out.
Dinner was the capper....some great homemade clam chower, and a little fried cod at the nearby Ship Inn.

Monday dawned early as Greer decided to amble into our bed in his usual way. I sat at our laptop browsing the internet until the draw to escape outside was too much. One of my favorite things to do while we're visiting the coast is to get out early in the morning. Even if it's only to drive through the vacant streets of Astoria to get a cup of coffee and a paper. Something about the quiet of the morning - and the nearby ocean.

Back with two cups of joe and the morning fishwrap, we relaxed in our room. Greer got sucked into Cartoon Network while we freshened up and prepared to enjoy Day Two. Giant breakfast at the Pig and Pancake got the day going on a delicious note. A healthy dose of razor clams, pancakes and fruit was just the ticket. A coastal visit without fresh clams or oysters isn't complete in my book.

More art fare shopping - this time on the Washington side near Chinook. A glass bauble here, a handmade kaleidoscope there....doesn't take much time before the Christmas money evaporates. After we'd busted the bank, we headed north out of Long Beach for another attempt at kite flying. Unfortunately, the wind was fickle and we spent more time running to keep the thing aloft, that sitting back against the wind.

In lieu of flight, we picked up a couple of plastic buckets and quested to build a formidable sandcastle....the type that pushes back the sea...for a while, at least. Back in my earlier days at Neskowin and Rockaway Beach, a would spend the better part of the day digging moats and building a mini-sand metropolis - fortified by wall after wall. Watching the ocean take it's toll was always the payoff....guessing where the tsunami would break through first....and occasionally stepping in for a quick repair.

Greer relished this exercise and quickly became a seasoned foreman on sandcastle construction team. We watched as the first wave soaked way the outside wall and melted the moat. Greer flapped his arms, pointing at the destruction with boyish satisfaction....and then we left it to the sea.

On our way back, we were compelled to stop in Astoria at the Custard King - once again. Wizard burgers, fries and a chocolate milkshake to go. Much like Super King back at home....the King is the Thing.

Another Labor Day, come and gone.

Hung jury

2008-08-28T17:13:00.000-07:00

“You’ll need to take every moment you can for sleep,” said the resident intern. My head bobbed up to see her flash by. All whites shoes and blue smock. I was sitting in an 5th floor lobby at Emanuel hospital; waiting for my Nana to get back from an x-ray. She took a turn for the worse on Wednesday, with a blood infection and who knows what else. I rose and slipped through the familiar halls. Earlier this summer, Nana had been there after a fall at the assisted living facility.

Going back further, I was born here in 1971.

Sitting in the lobby now. Unable to get a wi-fi signal for some reason. I’m waiting a few more minutes before I check on her again.

The day started with an early crush. Unable to sleep, I shuffled downstairs and climbed on board the Precor. After punching a few data bits – the thing started tracking my pace. I punched on the dvd player to watch a documentary.

Today was jury duty, a task that required an early arrival.

Greer drug himself sleepily across the living room. Rubbing his eyes, he posed for a moment, making his bed head hang sprout oddly. I watch him climb up the chair to get his breakfast. He’s not used to getting up quite so early. His expectation is a day at home, but today he’ll be going to the Y while I serve the city.

Laptop in hand, I was ready to make up for the lack of blogging by finishing up any half-baked, unposted entries while waiting on the court. Surely a whole day waiting for my name to be called would be enough.

Four hours later, they dismissed us due to a lack of active trials.

Now I’m here, wondering if Nana is going to be ok.

New traditions...

2008-08-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

Establishing new traditions with my parents has been on my mind in the past couple years. After all of the family tragedy in 2006, it feels natural to connect in more personal ways, aside from the occasional weekend visit or holiday event.

With my mom, it's sharing sports....specifically, the newly redeemed Portland Trailblazers. While I was under her roof, she lamented the fact that I was much like my Dad....I had little enthusiasm for sports (perhaps it was because no NW teams were doing anything). It wasn't until college that started to enjoy watching college football or pro basketball. Flash forward to now. Last season, we attended six Blazer games - and had a ball. I occasionally took her to a favorite restaurant - Nicola's Lebanese eventually became the standardbearer - and then hustled out to the Rose Garden. We were hooked - and really enjoying the sharing the time together.

This year, were doing it again - and we're going to drag Greer to at least one game. A Utah preseason matchup - in celebration of him completing our library's summer reading program.

For my Dad, it looks like fishing or crabbing together is starting up. Last year, it was an ocean salmon fishing trip out of Iwaco, WA. This year, we found ourselves fishing a small lake in central oregon (where Greer landed his first trout) - and then again, on the Deshutes River - thanks to a local fishing trip auction my Mom had won.

The day dawned in perfect fashion. Clear and a little cold at 5am for the trip to where the Deshutes River joins the Columbia. Our old friend Glen Summers met us on the boat launch and got everything squared away in a hurry. As we cruised down the tail of the Deshutes, Glen began to roll out the stories of fishing trips past. He's been working as a river guide for years - and reminds me of Quint in Jaws. A weathered salt and his boat for hire. Under the steady howl of the engine, he and my dad began what would be almost an entire morning of fish, elk and deer stories - each one a little more unique than the last.

Getting out on the water at dawn has a natural magic. On the Columbia you become aware of another world waking up. The fish are breeching the water in all directions. A fat chinook rolls and flips his tail near the bow. A six-foot sturgeon launches itself 30 feet behind us. Everywhere there is movement that you'll never notice if you whiz by on I-84. You have to be out there to see what you're missing.

All the action came before 10am. As we ran a circular pattern from the mouth of the river, we ran into a bunch of biting fish. Dad hit the jackpot early with a 32-pound Chinook and a nice steelhead, while I landed two good-size steelhead - one of which we could keep.

All in all, a good time for us both. Since Glen provided good conversation, we were able to avoid the occasional uncomfortable silence that drapes itself on our one-on-one time. That....and being out on a boat again with Dad is a great thing. I have many great memories (mostly crabbing) of us working the water. Hopefully, this will be the beginning of something we can look forward to again.

Heatwave

2008-08-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

Whenever it decides to heat up in Portland, we end up suffering a bit. We are without central air conditioning, and rely entirely on a battery of ceiling, window and floor fans to keep the place bearable when it gets over 90 degrees. This past weekend, it hit over 100 - which drove us into the basement bedroom, where we lay panting next to aging floor fans.

Alex and I camp on couches, and Greer sprawls on mattress pillow-top - stripped down to his nightpants. It's so hot, you don't even want to move. Upstairs is like a sauna - the heat hits like a sticky wave.

On days like this, circulating air, ice cold drinks and about 4 or 5 movies are the order of business. That...and a good sense of humor.

Ember visits!

2008-08-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, we had the privilege of returning a favor. Greer has often been the short-term guest of my brother and his family - including his newly minted cousin - Ember. Whether it's a date night or conflicting schedules, Greer loves hanging with his second family when Mom and Dad are away.

After some time and frequent asking on our part, C and W finally decided to splurge and have a night to themselves, and left Ember in our care. Greer was elated to find out his cousin would be coming over and proceeded to pull out his favorite toys - along with a few that his 8-month old guest might enjoy as well. After the usual acclimatizing and parental lingering, the parents were gone off to a movie - and we were able to get down to business.

Books. More books. Singing. Jumping. Rolling. Laughing.

While Ember is still figuring out how to amble on two pegs, she is surprisingly agile on four. Regardless, Greer treated her like a little princess, doting on her and being a model big brother.

Such is his destiny...as he will be surrounded by girl cousins from within the family.

Day tripping

2008-08-07T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you get lucky during the summer and everything comes together for a day. Friends visiting from out of town, a summer festival and the opportunity to road trip were the elements that converged recently on a Thursday for Greer and I. A chance to hop in the Bug and ramble south to Eugene for a reunion with my old college buddy Ryan and his family.

After a bit of a stutter-start, we breezed south through the Willamette Valley. Greer was amped at the change of scenery and only needed one potty break on the journey....that and a bag of his new favorite roadtrip snack, Corn Nuts.

After a short visit and burgers at his parent's house, Ryan and I hauled the kids over to a nearby park for a runaround....a chance for Greer and Reed to bond. As the boys chased each other around the playground, Ryan and I tried to catch up on everything. Since the Campbells moved to Connecticut, our circles are limited to the occasional phone call. Our most recent conversations came following the passing of the twins, so we did our best reconcile the last couple of years.

Another child had arrived...a beautiful girl, Lucy. More teaching stories, new personal interests, and plenty of parental lamentation about the growing up of our young boys. There was still much of the man I remembered, but we had changed together. As fathers and working (or not working) men.

Time passes though...as quickly as the boys' competition on the monkey bars. A goodbye popsicle and a few bear hugs later, and Greer and I were back on the road - headed north for a visit with another older friend in Junction City.

Brennen goes back a ways...almost 16 years now. A southern gentleman with a cajun streak and prominent tenor voice, B is now a Lutheran pastor to a congregation with a decidedly Scandinavian lineage. Coincidentally, Friday marked the beginning of an annual town festival that features all things Swedish, Finnish and Norwegian. Vikings wander downtown - next to booths selling pastries, meatpies (mmm...) and authentic Nordic-wear.

After meeting up with the right Reverend, we pushed into the festival - stopping to visit his wife, Michelle - who was helping serve up delicious puff pastries in appropriately traditional garb. A few Swedish dance numbers and a meatpie later, we were officially in the groove. I had picked up the necessary horned headgear (albeit plastic) for the boy and I, and Greer had temporarily exchanged lids with friendly viking.

After all of this, we piled back in the rig and headed home. In the 15 minutes it took to get back to I-5, Greer was nodding....by they time we hit Salem - he was out....pooped beyond everything.

Mission accomplished.

Blueberry buckets

2008-08-01T13:57:00.000-07:00

When August rolls around, I turn into a bit of a fanatic. The lure of fresh berries from the field turns every week into a new quest. Farmers Markets are perused and pillaged. Plastic and cardboard containers full of Oregon's finest are consumed en masse out of the refrigerator.

Blueberries are usually the focus. A ripe blueberry is a truly wonderful thing - and an annual exodus to any of the nearby U-pick farms is a must. This year, we managed to make it out twice before the bushes were all picked out. Both times, Greer and I met up with my folks in Hood River and headed south into the legendary Fruit Loop that looms along the hills and valleys.

Our target was Gloria's Two Blues farm - which my folks hold as one of the best U-Pick's around. Gloria is a fantastic earth-mom who loves her berries, and grows them large. From the road, you could see the them hanging like grape clusters - a mouth-watering invitation. Unfortunately, she hadn't yet opened for picking during the week, so we had to scuttle down the road to the Browning farm, where things had been picked over a bit. Greer enjoyed the first go-round, carrying his bucket around and showing off its contents...all the while munching away.

Undaunted, I made plans to return the following week - this time with Dave along for the ride. Thankfully, things panned out (after a bit of cajoling - as she still wasn't open during the week), and we were free to pick. To say that these berries were big is an understatement. In some cases, they looked like small grapes - making it easy to harvest in short order. An hour after we arrived, we had raked in over 32 pounds.

Mmmmmm......

Double Wall-E

2008-07-20T17:56:00.001-07:00

Starting in July, we've paired back Greer's time at the Y to three days a week. Given my recent freedom, it's a good opportunity for the two of us to have some time together. Whether it's at the pool or playing in the park, Thursdays and Fridays are reserved for us.

Given Greer's love of movies, we occasionally make our way to the Eastport 16 for a matinee of whatever's worth watching. At this multiplex back in 2006, Greer saw his first film, "Eight Below" - which he promptly walked out of. Good choice. He did the same with "Happy Feet", his second attempt....an act that gave me hope, as musical penguins are not my thing. It wasn't until the two-hour epiphany of "Cars" that Greer finally found something worth sitting for. His little bladder was about to explode, but he refused to move during the entire feature. This patience would be repeated many times at home, with Miyazaki's amazing Japanese animations, all things Wallace and Gromit, and my library of old Harryhausen Sinbad features.

Flash forward to 2008. "Wall-E" is the order of business.

As with other Pixar efforts, Greer was an easy convert. Although nothing has surpassed "Monsters Inc." or "Cars" in his mind, the "little robot who could" made for an enjoyable distraction. So much so, that he didn't mind it when we caught it again at the Newberg 99w Drive-In. Dressed in his PJs, and full of questions about how long it would take, we packed into the Bug and made the 30-mile trek. The wait until dark can be daunting when you are corralling a Greermonster. Even though he was guaranteed a second big-screen experience with Wall-E, the boy twisted in his seat. An agonizing 2 hours passed before dusk arrived. Slipping away to the bathroom felt like a vacation. Alex had almost gnawed through her lip - and Greer....well my boyo must have set a new record for "asks" as we waited for someone to spark the bulb.

Such are the joys and sacrifices of the drive-in devotee.

Time away from time

2008-07-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

The early part of my unemployed 'work' week is usually occupied with project work around the house. The basement full of film cans and more personal history detritus than one can fathom. A pantry in need of reorganization. Layers of yard sale fodder unfound and unloved. All of it waiting for me. I usually find myself avoiding all of this by ducking out to lunch with a friend or catching a matinee. Occasionally, an agency will call to offer representation on a contract - but all in all, it's quiet....and vaguely desperate.

The week following our July 4th visit to Olympia, I managed to slip out to lunch with my bud Dave to catch a evening screening of the new Hunter Thompson documentary, "Gonzo". While a fair amount of the film was familiar, there were a few new tidbits that I hadn't seen - and moreover - it was just good to see the Doctor again.

Later in the week, Greer had the opportunity to see is grandparents again, so Alex and I could have a little time together. This coincided with a request from my folks to help purge the remainder of personal crapola that I haven't had the decency to remove from their house. After delivering boyo and spending the night, I piled boxes of old photos, childhood mementos, comic books and beloved dust bunnies in the Bug and headed home.

When Greer is gone, there is a palpable vacuum. Instead of waiting for the next shoe to drop or fielding the ever present "why" floating in the air, we are blessed with silence and the perception of freedom. The whirlwind of the Greermonster is elsewhere, and we are free to roam about the cabin. This time around, we escaped to the Bagdad Theater and the comfort of dinner in front of a big screen. While Prince Caspian wrangled the remains of Narnia, we sat back in a love seat and drank in the moment together. Time away from time. With cheeseburgers.

After we picked up Greer from the folks, we found ourselves with an unfettered Sunday afternoon. This lead to stop at Bonneville Dam - and the a visit to the gliding prehistoric bulk of Herman the Sturgeon. Located within the maze of fish holding pens and rhododendrons that make up the on site hatchery, Herman is a sight to behold. Behind submerged, thick glass, we eyeballed the ancient monster. A grey log of fins and cartilaginous skeletal ridges, this sturgeon is truly an amazing thing. Greer was transfixed as his 11-foot frame cruised by, occasionally flashing a look with one of his milky, 70-year old orbs.

During upcoming week, I had planned to take Greer out camping with Papa and Baba, but held back due to an unknown evil within my car's engine. A sudden, uneven loss of power on the road - like the fuel wasn't making it all the way. In short, I had received bad gas.....but my fear got the better of me. As with many dissolved plans, the backup options gave way to outside influence. In this case, apathy and a lack of air conditioning. Summer heat forced us into the basement - where the three of us laid low and sweated through the weekend. That Saturday afternoon was the apex of laxity. Three DVDs - followed by an evening visit to the multiplex.

Kung Fu Panda never felt so cool.

Down South...and back North for 4th

2008-07-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

Some say that you can't go back. That's true for some, but for a while on Thursday - it was as if I was back in grade school - on a visit with some old buddies from my private school days in Salem. Don and Eric were close friends growing up, so it was a real pleasure to catch up on a sunny afternoon near the very school grounds where we did our time.

Most of afternoon was spent at Don's house overlooking the McNary golf course....not far from McNary High School, where we discovered the shocking difference of public education. Don and I lived near enough to each other back in the mid-80s that we found plenty to get into trouble with. In Junior High we both had a facination for movie special effects and makeup - and spent many a Halloween making my house a morbid testament to our bloody talents.

One such incident lives in infamy to this day. We had put together a fake body with a knife in its back - and placed on the lawn of former teacher who lived next door to Don. As we hid back in his shed to watch the whole thing unfold, a passing motorist noticed the scene from the road - and decided to alert the authorities as we watched in horror. Suffice it to say, the police, fire department and an EMT unit rolled up and quickly debunked the moment. Perfectly timed, the teacher whom this had been prepared for arrived not long after - and had a little explaining to do.

Ah memories...

The forth saw us heading back up north to Olympia - and another family gathering around BBQ and the usual neighborhood apocalypse that ensues. Just so he wouldn't feel too left out - I picked up some non-flying ordinance at a nearby tent. In the fading hours of Friday, as we fought through the BBQ sleep that came after a late lunch - Greer got his shot at a little fire and smoke.

A couple sparking tanks, smoke bombs and a few fountain/blooms later - the boy had been officially drawn into the love affair that boys have with things that go boom.

Coffee talk

2008-07-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

Such are the trappings of the recently unemployed.

It's been almost a month since I wrapped up my contract at Regence...and...I know this probably sounds silly, but I've finally done the inevitable. I'm blogging from a coffee shop with wi-fi.
Wooooooo! I know, I know...cutting edge stuff for a guy like myself. I feel like a cro-mag emerging from my hole. The last adopter of blogdoms everyday right-of-passage.

The customers are coming in now - old and young - and the bar is busy at Space Monkey. Art hangs on the walls and some tribal popbeat is rolling out - performing as a platform for the caffinated tenor behind the bar. I'm on my second cup of the morning.....a black mug of organic whatever. It tastes like coffee, that's all I care about.

Alex bought Greer a new mini-suitcase for his big trip up to see Crumpa and Gamma. He was so excited, that I found him in bed with it last night....has hand wrapped around the pull-out handle. A young man and his new rolling travel companion.

Tonight I'm taking Alex out for dinner and movie. Yummy food and "Iron Man" are on the docket. We don't out much, so it'll be fun to reconnect. Greer will be visiting Uncle Chris and Aunt Windy for a spell...

Tomorrow, I'm down in Keizer visiting my old jr. high school buddy, Don. He'll probably goad me into jamming with him - after all these years. We started playing together when I was 13, and he managed to keep up with it. It's been more than a little while since I picked up the guitar, so we'll see what comes. If I remember my penatonic scales, I should be ok.

That's a big if, though.

Flying high...

2008-06-20T11:43:00.001-07:00

One of the benefits of working contract jobs is all the interesting folks you run into. Roger Ryon is one I met while doing my stint at Regence. A fairly unassuming cat, Mr. Ryon has what you might call an active and creative outside life....one that includes a wildly colorful plane that he likes to fly now and then. Yesterday, he took me for a ride.

Sporting the psychedelic colors of the Black Rock Travel Agency (Roger's a Burning Man vet), we took off from Troutdale airport and flew south amidst high clouds and fair weather. From 5000+ feet we could see from Mt. Rainer to Three Sisters.

The engines hummed with a rhythm that oscillated through the cabin...a vibration that Roger closely monitored and adjusted - while he pointed out the various sights and landmarks. I held maps, took photos, and even cobbled together a metal twist-tie - to help stabilize the throttle when it started to slip slightly.

We followed a 1.5 hour path full of local airports....Aurora, McMinnville, Hillsboro, St. Helens - and finally back to Troutdale.

Looking forward to the next time in the air...

Fathers Day

2008-06-15T11:13:00.001-07:00

It's been a good morning. Alex is back from a trip to Denver....Greer is rambling through the house, leaving a small path of chaos in his wake, and I am soaking up a little Father's Day relaxation; sitting on the couch and reading the morning paper. While breakfast was being devised, I sat and read VeggieTales with Greer until he wanted to go build a block castle. Our boy was keen on remembering Father's Day this year by giving me a fantastic drawing of the two of us shopping for groceries - with a bonus sketch of Mom on the flipside. Before we got out of bed, the Greermonster brought in the Father's Day gift he made at school. A one-of-a-kind rock that he had colored. Priceless.

Around lunchtime, we'll head over to Beaverton with Windy and Chris to celebrate F-Day with Windy's side of the family. My folks would usually be in town, but they're enjoying a much deserved cruise in Alaska. Dad called from Scagway this morning with Father's Day greetings....they are off to Denali National Park in the next two days.

This evening, I plan to extend my F-Day benefits with a viewing of Game 5 of the NBA Finals. I'm fully expecting L.A. to pull out a win tonight, so Boston can go home and win it all. Whether they win tonight or next week....the Celtics are a lock.

Incidentally, "From One Rose" will be playing this afternoon on KOIN 6 - our first broadcast of the program. Mike Donahue is hosting the screening, which will run uncut with commerical breaks.....some of which will include a plug for the DVD. Hopefully, we'll see a spike in interest - and maybe the beginning of an annual broadcast tradition.

Singing Sweeney

2008-05-24T03:54:00.000-07:00

Back again....writing early in the morning - after having fallen asleep early after bathing Greer. He crawled into our bed at midnight....just as I was waking from my 'nap'. No luck sleeping after that, as the boy has a way of positioning himself - so as to boot you from bed.

Browsing early morning style....scouting You Tube for live performance videos of Sondheims' Sweeney Todd. Alex turned me onto this show a while back, and I've been a little obsessed. Since last summer, I've been listening to it, researching the history, and singing the wicked baritone in my car - trying to match Len Carious' intensity. I even started up with a voice teacher to work on my technique - as I am not an opera singer. Still, the voice is there...

The videos I'm finding online this morning are an odd mix of community theater and professional outtakes....with most being overwrought or miscast.

I'm convinced that you need to be at least 40 to play the role....as Sweeney has some mileage on him.

Maybe someday.

Return of J

2008-04-28T03:48:00.000-07:00

It's really late, and I should be sleeping right now - but I can't. Been up thinking about the day that just happened.

It started normally enough....a trip to church with the family - but punctuated by the return of someone I hadn't seen in a while. A young man that I mentored a while back - J - walked up to me while we passed the peace during the service. It was good to see him - and he wanted to talk. He was having troubles at home with a sick mom, relationship issues and a life that had seemingly fallen into chaos. He was growing up very fast, but under intense stress for someone so young - so, he had almost given up.

Thankfully, he didn't.

When I met J for the first time, he was participating in a church mentorship program that I was involved in - and so we connected. I went over to his house, met his family and took him out geocaching one Saturday afternoon. We had a great time together - and spoke for a while afterwards about his goals and beliefs. J was a determined athlete that played baseball and football in high school. He was a natural, of sorts. I remember attending one of his high school football games in Vancouver...and how he walked over to me on the sidelines after it was over. I took a photo of him - dressed in a purple football uniform, helmet in his hand.

After that first series of interactions with him, I became a father for the first time - and was focused almost entirely on that and work. I didn't see him much - except for when he would come to church for a visit. Every time I saw him, he kept getting bigger, eventually shooting up past six feet. He had a steady girlfriend and was having success as a college baseball player. Our meetings were glad, sincere and full of promises to call and get together again - maybe go geocaching.

Unfortunately, it never seemed to happen again for us, and life moved forward - as it will.

Until yesterday. After our reunion, we talked in pews and then moved downstairs for more conversation and catching up. He had needed to leave college to help at home, and was struggling to keep things together. It was very rough for him, and it sounded like he needed someone to listen.

There was a silver lining though...something that had brought him back to church that day.

After giving almost giving up, he had received a wake-up call from folks close to him - and decided to start playing baseball again in practice sessions with his old high school coach. From out of these practices (and with some help from a former MLB pitcher whom he had trained with), J has been presented with a chance to work out for some pro baseball scouts on Tuesday. It's a big opportunity that couldn't come at a better time for him and his family.

After our time at church, I invited him over. We went out and made sure he had what was needed to prepare for his chance - and to help his family. A cell phone for important calls, a full tank of gas - and some running money.

It was a gut reaction....a need...and at that moment, I felt like my dad.

Godspeed J.

Budding flowers....not bombs

2008-03-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

So here we are again. March has arrived - and with a quickness that always surprises. The daffodils are sprouting out of the earthen pot sitting near our front steps, and the sky is gracing us with longer days and the occasional warm rain shower.

Tomorrow, I'll be marching downtown with some members of my church to remember the 5th anniversary of our adventure in Iraq. I feel a strange numbness to war these days - my anger about it feels worn and ragged and dull. Pressing on against this illegal and immoral act - in the face of mass apathy, devastating personal loss and everyday American living has turned out to be a real challenge. I used to spend my days (especially before fatherhood) railing against what I believe to be a wrongheaded and unelected presence leading our country. When 2004 came and went, it was like adding insult to injury. Would it ever end?

Five years along....I feel empty inside. Like my generation couldn't pull away long enough from the distractions of mid-life to rise up and say "no more of this". Part of me knows that the dice were loaded...the media programmed to disconnect us....and that we would have to do even more than those who protested before us to wake the nation up.

And so I go out again. Maybe it will rain. Maybe it won't.

Spring fling

2008-02-26T11:39:00.000-08:00

With the coming of spring, so does the influx of things-to-do.

Alexis is in the beginning phase for the Portland Opera production of "Albert Herring" - and experiencing the time drain of rehersals. Such was the case this past weekend - as she spent the better part of her time preparing for...waiting on...and eventually being called to perform.

Which left Greer and I with a weekend distract ourselves.

Normally, in these situations I hunker down in the homestead, looking to address the pile of home improvement projects that go unaddressed during the workweek.

Laundry...laundry...laundry....
Cleaning the basement of eternal clutter...
Hacking through the dead foliage and detritus that fall and winter have deposited...
Evacuating the mouldering pile of junk under the carport/in the garage...

Gahhh....

This usually means that Greer gets to play inside - or immerse himself in the vast collection of 4-year old friendly movies that Dad has on file. "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad", "Veggietales" and anything by Hayao Miyazki or Pixar are the usual suspects. Still....as much as I enjoy seeing him get into certain films, the notion of him not being active and using his little mind to explore outside of the projected image bugs me.

So...we decided to go all out this time. Swimming, OMSI and visiting his Great-Grandmother.

Wanting to squeeze in a little industry on a Saturday morning, Greer accompianed me to Mt. Scott Fuel - a longtime resident on Foster Rd. where he helped load six Presto-logs into the back of the Beetle. My Papa visited this place back in the day, had a small pile of these in the basement that he would use for holiday fires...but we've been using both of our fireplaces this winter, so the Presto-log is back in fashion.

Greer hasn't been by our other Mt. Scott namesake - the community center/pool - for what seemed like ages. He was so jazzed to get back in the water, that he had a hard time waiting for me to check in. An hour or so of splashing around, circling the vortex and riding a waterslide with Dad, he was pruned up and ready to hit the adjacent playground - where he demonstrated his proficiency at sliding down a circular pole attached the big toy. Energy wasn't a problem....

Next up, OMSI and their latest exhibition of Chinese dinosaurs! We had visited here about a month earlier to check out the OmniMax Sea Monsters show. Greer had promised to himself "not to be afraid" of be seabeasties on screen...but he did clutch my arm a few times on that visit. ;-) As for the Chinese dinosaurs this time, I didn't think there would be problem - until Greer noticed an animatronic cousin of the T-Rex on display. One look at that roaring monster - almost killed the deal. Forget all the bones...that moving dino might as well have been real. "That big dinosaur will bite my head!" he said, not moving from his spot. It took almost 20 minutes of coaxing and comforting to get him to enter the room, but even after that - he wouldn't get anywhere near Cousin Rex. I can relate somewhat. My Papa used to talk about my early fascination with horses....and how I would see one at a distance, and yell "Horse! Horse!" - wanting to get close. Of course, as soon as he picked me up and carried me over to the fence, I would crawl out of my skin trying to get away.

That was Saturday.

On Sunday, Greer and I headed out to Bridgeport - where he was content to draw and craft, while I took in the service upstairs. After church, we hit the road for St. Helens and a surprise visit with Nana - Greer's only great-grandparent - at an assisted living facility on the edge of town. Having skipped lunch, we nabbed Burgerville - where Greer wolfed a cheesburger and apple slices with relish. After a brief reminder on "visiting manners" - we headed over and checked in. After a little searching, we found Nana in her room with her feet propped up - reading a book in her easy chair. Since she is almost 90, with memory decline and all that, I was happy that she recognized us both. Greer quickly had her reading some of the books he had brought and we shared photos and some of Greer's artwork as well. He was perfect gentleman all throughout. He even drew up a perfect rendering of his family while balancing his drawing pad on Nana's lap.

It was a good day.

Down South

2008-02-08T12:03:00.000-08:00

It's Friday afternoon, and my pal Ira and I have just gotten back from walking the rows at Hollywood Forever - a historic cemetery in the heart of Los Angeles. Many silver screen greats are buried here (Fairbanks, Powers, De Mille, Valentino), about a stones throw from the Paramount lot. It's quiet and serene - a departure from the hustle and flow of Sunset Blvd.

Warm weather is a change - about 70 degrees down here...a vast departure from the rain and wind of PDX. Ira and his roommate are situated in a beautiful old house between Sunset Blvd and Melrose - not far from the heart of film industry. Everywhere you look, there are studios, prop houses and the like. It's a powerhouse of entertainment and self-promotion.

When I flew in on Wednesday with Michael (my PDX friend on this journey) - we jumped into the fray immediately.

In-and-Out burgers where Paris got busted for her DUI. Free-roaming the Beverly Hills Hotel where Britney (and a small platoon of photographers) were lurking. Rolling down Sunset strip and tripping on its surreal opulence. Smoking while sitting in the 405 traffic parking lot.

Welcome to L.A.

Thursday was all about fun. Breakfast at the Griddle (next to the DGA), where all of the staff and patrons are waiting for their close-up. The film tourist mecca of Universal Studios occupied the remainder of the afternoon....with an easy mix of rides, overpriced grub and studio schwag. Despite having lived here for the last five months, Ira had never done the theme park circuit - so it was fun for us both.

Friday has turned into Saturday now....with a trip to the Santa Monica pier and Venice Beach behind us. Ira and I picked up Michael's wife, Amy at LAX (a small driving nightmare) - and then back to Mike's swank hotel - where my circle of immediate friends were together for the first time. The intention to have dinner quickly devolved into creative show-and-tell....and before we knew it, the evening was over. Cheetos, cookies and Coke on the couch - filled the void in lieu of supper.

Sitting at Ira's dinner table now....finally writing in the moment. Much more has happened - mainly having to coordinate coverage for Greer....who came down with a fever while visiting his grandparents. Our fragile family plans got a overhaul as a result...all orchestrated while sitting near the twilight sands of Venice. I'm coming home a little early, and Mr. Dave will be stepping in to watch over Greer while Alex finishes up her Sunday business.

It's nutty....but what's new about that?

Christmas Past Christmas Present

2007-12-26T03:06:00.000-08:00

Another stretch of the time - and a wonderful Christmas marked.

Up in Olympia with the Crump clan - enjoying some real downtime for once. Christmas here is like entering a time vortex where everything slows down. Eating, sleeping and hanging out are the norm. This year has been my favorite so far. Starting to really feel comfortable and part of the family unit.

More presents than ever under the tree this year. It was nuts! Felt sorry for my sister-in-law and her family - who have to hump most of that Christmas booty back to Maryland. Still, it was fun getting up early and finding small red pollowcases with our names on them - filled with creative stocking stuffers. Santa is celebrated here with a vengeance - and family is paramount.

Greer and his younger cousin Trott were an inseparable pair. To watch them interact and enjoy Christmas together was a joy. They drew and played together like siblings. At one point they were wearing the same pattern pajamas - and looked like a something out of a glorious Dr. Suess fable.

On our way up north, I got a call that my good friend Mike was in the hospital with a serious health episode. Very scary stuff, but he's out of the woods now. Felt my old praying self step up for the first time in a while. The news of is stabilization was the biggest Christmas gift of all.

Visited my old friend Phil in Seattle on Christmas Eve. A personal indulgence of sorts that reminded me of the spirit of the season. Time well spent with a friend makes the holiday come alive. After getting the news about Mike, it my time with Phil all the better and more valued. We had lunch - chatted about family and took a tour of his stomping grounds on a unseasonably clear, cold afternoon. Tasty stuff.

So...it's been good.

Summer come and gone

2007-09-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go?

1. Well....a great chunk of summer was spent plying my trade at the office. Been working a pile of overtime - and that will make you lose track of things fast. Over time, I ended up being the team lead - and trained five new team members to tow the line....including my good friend and long-time tech colleague, Dave Angus....who helps me keep my sense of humor.

2. Finished up "From One Rose" with Ira and the team at F&F Film. It had a big premiere at the Hollywood - and screened around PDX at neighborhood theaters. Even though my primary role was as the 16mm archivist, many of the concepts Ira and I had discussed in 2006 made it to the screen....which was wonderful to see. There are more screenings in the works....and apparently it's slated to make it's television debut on KGW in December. Suffice it to say, it will be a part of the Rose Festival lineup for years to come, so there's that.

3. Family....as much as I could get - which in the end, didn't seem like enough. A weekend in the woods with my folks and time up north with the Crumps. Greer is fully conversive - and a tornado of activity. Lots of bike rides, visits to the park and the usual slew of toddler/pre-schooler entertainment.

4. Weddings! My inlaws (Duncan and Barbara) renewed their vows at the State Capital in Olympia and my dear brother Chris married his sweetie, Windy in a ceremony at the Rhody Garden next to Reed College. Both of these events happened on the same weekend, believe it or not. My first time as a Best Man - and Greer got to be the ring bearer.

5, 6, 7..... Work on the house....Trailermania 6.....State Fair trip....Tears of Joy 35th anniversary....the list goes on.

Dueling Divas at the Old Church

2007-05-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since Alexis has done a recital-style show, but her recent gig at the Old Church with longtime friend and colleague Diane shows that she can still knock em' dead. The two teamed up for the benefit "A Touch of Class" - which helps aspiring lawyers who are focusing on LGBT-rights releated issues. The night was a sell out and even drew a couple local celebrities - our esteemed mayor, Tom Potter and Pink Martini frontman Thomas Lauderdale.

Sad anniversaries - so it goes

2007-04-12T15:54:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that it's been a year since Eleanor and Quinn slipped away. I placed a red and yellow rose on their grave this morning....and wondered what might have been.

Sitting here at the office stands in stark contrast to the April 12th of a year ago.

1:45 and 3:40 felt like dark limbo....like I should be somewhere else. I sat outside and closed my eyes....seeing them both in my mind. Eleanor quiet with Alexis until the end - and Quinn's struggling infant cry before we laid her down for the last time.

In some ways it's more difficult. The photos and memories from those 14 days are harder to look at. Maybe it's because I've been busy - and have put my grief on hold.

I don't really know.

So it goes.

(K.V. - R.I.P.)

one year later - in full bloom

2007-03-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

It's been year now since Alexis and I sat in that hospital room - waiting for the girls to arrive. How time flies. Today will mark Eleanor and Quinn's arrival into this world, and the beginning of that difficult but beautiful journey.

The magnolia we planted in the backyard last summer has started to bloom. It's almost if it knows exactly when - and is offering itself as a reminder.

This weekend will be time for reflection and family. Saturday will be spent together playing with Greer, and we'll have a birthday cake to celebrate their lives - as we continue on with our own.

Back from Bend

2007-03-20T16:44:00.000-07:00

Why do I always feel more tired after time off? Ok...yes, we did drive over 500 miles round trip on our jaunt to Central Oregon......but Greer got dropped off at this grandparents - and we had no real agenda during our stay. Go figure.

For as short as it was, we had a decent time on our mini-vacation. Alex sang well with the PDX Opera crew at the High Desert Museum - and we moved at a leisurely pace for the remainder of the time.

One of the highlights included our semi-annual visit to the Peterson Rock Gardens - the greatest crumbling curiosity this side of Redmond. It's still hanging in there after all these years, and just as amusing. I remember visiting this place with my grandparents and taking in the cheeseball brilliance of rock garden grottos and lava rock renderings of U.S. monuments....nevermind the arrogant roaming peacocks.

These days, it's looking a bit rough. Make that...a lot.

The museum/giftshop is a mix of dusty geodes and decaying merchandise - mixed in with more dust and dead flies. It's as if they stopped cleaning and selling things in 1983....but somehow the door is open. Outside, the rock attractions are in a state of decline. While spring cleanup was underway, you got the sense that very little changes in the larger scope. Stagnant water, overgrown walkways and wind-blown trash add a demension akin to an abandoned (and perhaps haunted) house.

In short, it's a keeper.

Back and Forth

2007-03-12T13:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a long busy winter, but things are finally settling down a bit. The gig at Regence is in transition into something with a different set of responsibilities. Same role, just different faces.
For the first time in a while, we'll be taking a couple days off to hit the road. Alex has a gig in Bend on Thursday, so we'll be dropping Greer with his grandparents on our way out east. Not sure what we'll be doing after the show, but we don't really care either. Free time is good enough for us.

That being said, things will be back to busy once we get back.

This upcoming Sunday will mark the 4th anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq conflict. I've arranged for a screening of a new documentary "The Ground Truth" - to play at our church on Thursday. It's mainly in preperation for the M18 protest march in downtown PDX, but it should help remind folks of the sacrifice and damage that has come as a result of this bogus military adventure.

Impromptu dinner

2007-03-04T00:08:00.000-08:00

Busy, busy, busy this week....

Feels like I should have been headed into work today, but Alex had a radio gig this afternoon with KPBS 89.9 that kept me back at home with the boy. I tried...though. The office gave me laptop to use from home, but cable modem protocols and toddler antics kept me from doing anything but waiting for a fateful office phone call that never came.

Oh well.

The day ended well though. My folks were in town - and we had a family dinner over at my aunt's place. Roast beast, mashed potatoes, veggies, fruit and lemon cake for dessert. Mmmmmm.... There's no place like home. Of course, Greer got to see the grandparents and his favorite uncle Chris - and ran himself ragged before the night was over.

The boy collapsed when he got home - and gave Alexis and I just enough time to sit down and watch Kurosawa's "Rashoman".....a benchmark in Japanese cinema.

It would make a great opera....

Home alone...

2007-02-26T22:27:00.000-08:00

Alex is away this evening....singing out in Bandon on the southern Oregon coast. That being the case, the usual routine gets a break sometimes.

After a long but productive day at the office, I splurged and took Greer out to our favorite foodbag, Super King Buffet - off of 82nd and SE Foster! Nothing like an all-you-can-eat Asian buffet and sushi bar.

Greer loves the place - and shrieks when whenever we get near it. The staff know us by now (I think we've been there at least 80 times in the last year) and treat Greer like a little prince. He's got his favorites, of course. Shrimp, shrimp and yet even more shrimp. He also digs spicy Kung Pao chicken and Pork Shu Mai.

He's also gotten very good at saying "thank you" whenever the waitress takes a dish or fills his water.

Getting back...

2007-02-24T08:53:00.000-08:00

Saw some good friends for the first time in a while last night. Got a few comments that I'd fallen off the map. Can't blame 'em. Haven't been keeping in touch like I usually do - and the blog has stagnated due to technology issues and a crazy workload these past few months.

Anyway...I'm going to take another shot at this. Writing this blog, I mean.

Waiting for 2007

2006-12-14T21:43:00.000-08:00

Listening outside to large windstorm blow in. Even in the basement, I can hear the howl and the collective groan of trees under stress. They say it will be like the storm of 1995....although I somehow doubt it. The power hasn't gone out yet.

I'm really done with this year. This 2006. In less than twelve months I've lost my beautiful daughters, my grandfather and an uncle. Nevermind the unemployment and lingering depression. There have been good things, of course....and I needed them to stay balanced. Unfettered time together with Greer made up most of the silver lining. I look back on that - and wish I had done more with him during that stretch. More time at the pool, at the park and anywhere else he could drag me.

But the year is almost up - and I am glad for it. Not that time or sorrow or fate can be contained within a calendar.

But still...

Back at Work

2006-12-10T01:36:00.002-08:00

So...I'm back at work now.

Just before Thanksgiving, I started a contract as a Project Coordinator with a downtown healthcare firm. It pays well and is just in time for us. Things were starting to get thin for a bit, so it's good to be back on the job - even if it isn't a permanent gig. I worked my first Saturday in a while....some nice overtime work - and and more experience with project problem solving.

Aside from all my new daytime work changing things up - things are going pretty well.

Greer is back in daycare full time - and is becoming quite a puzzle master. Last weekend, he worked on a 100 piece puzzle with me - and did a great job matching patterns and shapes. He really enjoys singing his ABC's and playing with object/number flashcards. He's also a bit more of a handful and is actively voicing his independence. Potty-training is happening - and he's starting to dress himself. Becoming a boy, I guess. It's fun to watch.

Think alot about Papa, Eleanor and Quinn. I dream of Papa about once a week since his passing - and usually wake up crying. It's part of the process, I guess. The girls are always there in my mind.

Had a good Thanksgiving in Olympia. Spent most of the four-day weekend at the indoors - with an occasional outing. Saw the new James Bond with my father-in-law, played a fair amount of Yahtzee with the family, and ate way too much food.

Additionally, Greer and I have been showing up in a Comcast commercial that's been airing for the past month. It's fun and short - and I've only seen it once. Such are the perils of not watching much network/cable television. Some of my friends think I'm being a little sarcastic when I pop the line "They're making the Internet fun again". Hmm...wonder what could give them that idea.

Need to get some sleep now.

Goodbye Papa...

2006-11-04T03:44:00.000-08:00

They come in threes some say....

Yesterday afternoon, our family received yet another loss with the passing of my dear 89 year-old grandfather, Irving Peck. He had been in sharp decline over the past year - and finally sucumbed to pneumonia - which had come on in the past couple of days.

I last saw him alive on Thursday night....standing next to his hospital bed with my cousin, brother and aunt. He was clearly on his way out at that point. Although I wanted to believe that this was just another stint at the hospital - it was hard to avoid the feeling that something had changed.....that this would be the last time.

I was tired from too many nights of nerve pain and decided to leave his bedside at midnight. I kissed him on the forehead and told him to get some sleep. Underneath his oxygen mask, he mumbled something about going to a "meeting" somewhere. Since he had been getting more and more incoherent in recent months - I didn't think much of it.

Sadly....he was right.

I got the call from my Mom on Friday afternoon. He had left us quietly around 3pm - as the rain fell outside.

I headed over to the hospital and sat at his bedside. The nurse said it was a peaceful end and offered her condolences. We were alone together. Papa and I - one last time. I can still see him in my mind's eye. A frail, old man....his mouth half-open and his eyes closed to the world. I cried like a child - with those deep sobs that can swallow you whole.

Holding his hand, I could still feel the warmth from his body as it left him. Gone now....I kissed his forehead.

Goodbye Papa...

Pretty Scary Ghostie...

2006-10-31T20:50:00.000-08:00

Just got back from a quick trick-or-treating venture with Greer. Alex made a wonderful mummy costume for his Halloween debut. We followed my cousin and her family through a near freezing night, to visit her grandma at a nearby rest home. The place was crawling with kids moving around in a circle of senior citizens with candy bowls. The easiest trick-or-treating game in town. In 20 minutes, Greer had filled his green plastic pumpkin - and was ready to put his mumminess to rest for the night. He was wonderfully cute in his homemade wrappings....

Going to place a small pumpkin with the girls tomorrow. It's been a couple of days since I last visited. Even with all that has been going on, I still feel the pull to be with them - and miss it when I haven't been by.

My nerve pain hasn't abated much since I last posted. I've been to physical therapy several times, but neck traction only offers temporary relief. Since the injury appears to have happened to a nerve in the neck vertebra - the therapist seems to think the healing process could take from 6 months to a year. As of today, l'm having to load up on Ibuprofin to beat back the pain....and am starting to have problems sleeping again. It's a real thorn in my side at the moment.

Alex and I had a great (if truncated) time at the Grand Lodge for our 5th anniversary. Even though neck/arm pain kept me up at night, we still enjoyed dinner/breakfast - and all the couples time we could muster. It's so hard to wrangle space for each other these days...

Oh....congrats to Jenn and Aaron on their recent geeky wedding. A fun time was had by all...

That's about it for now.....

Late night update

2006-10-03T01:45:00.000-07:00

It's past 1:30am, and my left arm is tingling. It's been two weeks since I damaged a nerve in my shoulder during a freelance gig - a nerve which radiates down my arm and terminates in three fingers on my left hand. It feels like that part of my body is consistantly "waking up" from being asleep (i.e. pins and needles/tingling). It's a pain...and has been disrupting sleep for as long as it's been around. I'm hoping to get some physical therapy soon to help the process along.

Alex is doing better after dealing with an ugly little infection (multiple absceses, etc.) that had us worried for a bit. I'm hoping that the two of us will rally about the same time....as it is, our bathroom slightly resembles a pharmacy - what with all the antibiotics and muscle relaxers between the both of us.

My beloved had a fun birthday last month....as my folks came over and fixed us dinner. Alex got this great original pen/ink drawing of a murderous lawn gnome from her sister. It currently lives in a place of honor near the dining room.

Greer is doing well....his hair is getting bushy/curly again....and will need to be cut back....even though it is quite dashing in a Prince Valiant sort of way. Most recently, he's said "I love you" to both of us....which - of course - makes our day. His language skills continue to expand - as does his desire to push boundries (tv time, dinner-table manners, etc). "Lion King" is his current favorite film....which means I've got "Hakuna Matata" on the brain. Additionally, it looks like his grey front tooth is here to stay. We'll watch it - and make sure it doesn't get any worse.

Looks like my career as a Bluto-look-a-like is at an end. The 2006 Animal House Celebration was pretty much a bust this time around. Ended up going south with a friend and my brother, Chris. We were all ready for a good time - and arrived at the Eugene Hilton about an hour after the party was to have started. Sadly, there seemed to be more people staffing the event than actually attending. The band played to an empty dance floor - and the few that attended seemed stuck in their chairs. Had it not been for a couple of young co-eds (and their mom), we would have left much earlier. As it was, we were about the only ones dancing - and hung it up about an hour before things ended. As the evening streched on, we wandered by the U of O campus, looking for an alternative party option. But....three 30something guys in togas began to get old very quickly. The later it got, the older I felt. It was good to take the sheet off and crawl into my rented "magic-fingers" bed. Selah.

My recent dealings at the Clinton continue to hit and miss. My attempts at midnight movies on Friday have been less than exciting. Crater Lake Monster and the Toga Party were both slim in attendance - although highly amusing. My recent Vortex I reunion was better attended - and bode well for its return in 2007.

On the job front, I'm currently interviewing with a software firm in Beaverton. I just finished doing some online profile testing and am waiting for the results. On-site interview or no? We'll see. Other than that, it continues to be pretty quiet.

Well....I should try to hit the sack again. Better to sleep at night - than during the day.

Family time and a rough patch...

2006-09-05T19:53:00.000-07:00

Labor day come and gone.....sadly, not much of a vacation. I did get some family time - as my parents came down to keep my aunt company over the weekend. A trip with my folks/aunt to see my declining grandPapa on Friday....an impromptu Hamilton family gathering of holiday proportions on Saturday, and lunch with Mom, Dad, Dianne, Alex and Greer under the shady trees at Mt. Scott Park on Sunday afternoon.

Into this family weekend mix, there was the spector of health.....Alex had a painful abscese dealt with on Sunday morning - after a trip to urgent care. She said that the pain was worse than childbirth. Eek. Anyway....that's over with, but she has some followups to attend. Somehow, she made it thought the weekend in good shape - and is managing until her next appointment.

I've been doing all of the driving since Sunday - as the starter on our van died. We won't be able to fix it until this Friday, so until then - my Bug is the family coach. I love it when vehicles throw fits.....

Greer had a visit to the hospital today, due to a damaged toenail that appeared infected. The advice a nurse had given to us over the phone the night before - turned out to be the same advice that the doctor gave. Wash, soak, dry.... On top of all this, while I was at the doctors office, I noticed that one of Greer's front teeth is turning gray. So...he's got dental appointment coming soon....

Our little man is fast on his way to 3 years. Every day he continues to push and test his boundries. He continues to aborb new books, words and conversation at a suprising rate. He loves to howl at "My Neighbor Totoro" - and goes ballistic (every time) when the girl first plays with the magic animal. Now...if he was only more interested in potty training. Lately, he's been having issues sleeping through the night. More often than not (this week), he wants in our bed....usually around 2 or 3am. He's a sweet kid on the same journey with his mom and dad.....

Still no work at this point. I've been on a couple agency interviews, but nothing past the first round. I'm beating my resume into another form in the hopes that it attracts some new attention.

I'm looking forward to escaping to the Clinton this Friday to host a midnight screening of the little known creature-feature "The Crater Lake Monster". The CST has been busy this week - and the buzz is...that "Monster" might get some action as well. We'll see.

I've got a date with Bluto again....the 4th annual Animal House Celebration (i.e. Toga Party in a hotel) happens on the 23rd at the Eugene Hilton. They moved it away from Cottage Grove for a change - and it's happening after school starts....so we'll see if that boosts attendance. I'm actually putting together a toga party at the CST on the 15th - as way to kick some attention toward the event.

I'm trying to gather a few brave souls to attend the Eugene gig....currently have one to drive down with...

Previous to the past few days, I attended the wedding of an old friend with whom I've recently reconciled and reconnected. It's good to have him back, as we still share the same sense of dark humor. We ran into each other in the bathroom after the service and immediately started cracking up about some old inside jokes we hadn't aired in a while. During that same weekend, we stayed with Alex's folks and went out to a sandcastle contest - as well as NW Trek - a regional wildlife refuge/park. Good times.

Anyway....I'm sure there is more to come....just not right at the moment...

Still here....

2006-08-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...another month (and change) goes by. The big quiet persists.

Stumbling through summer and into the dog days has been.....something else. Writing has taken a back seat - as I continue to gather my strength and focus. I visit the twins every couple of days to keep the flowers watered - and see that things are maintained. It's a ritual of sorts that I wish didn't exist.

All of us are well...Alexis is back at the Opera after a bout with a virus that kept her in bed for a week. She's feeling much better and will be singing at a concert in September that will benefit children and parents that struggle with childhood metabolic disease. I'm still looking for "real" work. I send out applications daily.....and continue to pursue selling my 16mm films, writing and acting (or whatever constitutes that these days). We're scraping by - but maintaining balance given the circumstances.

Greer is getting into the weekly groove......he goes swimming once a week with me - and we usually visit the Oaks Park, OMSI, or the Children's Museum alternately during the time I have him. He gets to see his friends at daycare on Thursday and Friday - so he gets some socialization - and I get some time to work unencumbered. We're struggling with the whole TV issue right now....he doesn't watch anything on commercial TV - just my programming of kids films, etc. Still...I feel some guilt - like I'm letting him vegetate while I work on everyday stuff. We get out and about though....and the films he watches aren't crap. I'm happy that he seems to enjoy Japanese animation (Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, etc).

Additionally, I've got shows coming up at the Clinton....Trailermania 4 on 8/17 and From Oregon With Love (a small collection of ed films on Oregon) on 8/20.

That's pretty much all I have on this end....I'm currently recovering from doing the 24 mile Providence Bridge Pedal - which kicked my tail to the curb. Still...it was fun to take Greer out for a ride on the bridges.

Another month and some catching up...

2006-06-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

So....where do I begin?

The last month has been a blur of sorts. After the headstone was laid, we had it repositioned to more accurately reflect the location where the girls are resting. We visit the cemetery almost every day - keeping the flowers fresh and enjoying the peaceful ambiance of the park. As sad as it makes me....I will always feel at home in that place.

Greer is doing ok. He's been spending a lot of time with Dad (mostly staying cool in the basement - at least in the last couple of days). We go to the pool and the park every week, and have ventured out to OMSI and a few other fun places. He still refers to Eleanor and Quinn as "sick", so it's hard to tell how much he understands. He knows that they are gone - but he senses their presence still.

Alex and I are doing are best in this situation, I guess. Since there is no definite roadmap for grief, we're playing it by ear. Some days are better than others, but we are always prone to sadness and frustration. Not so much anger at God, but a great burden of sadness over the loss of such beautiful babies. I suppose I will have a long talk with the Creator about this, but for now - we just keep on living.

In addition, we continue to receive wonderful support from friends and family alike. Whether it be working with us on our yard/garden, or just hanging out for an evening - we have enjoyed and appreciated the fellowship. Part of the garden event we had included a tree planting in honor of the girls. We had about 15 or so folks helping us whip things into shape - and when we all stood around that tree - in prayer - I felt as if a milestone had been passed. The beginning of new things.

I'm still looking for work - but I suspect that something is coming soon. My creativity has been taking me in some interesting directions as of late - and I'm hoping it will lead me to something rewarding. Jobwise, nothing has really stood out to me, but I'm always looking, so....

In the world of personal pursuits, I've had a few more event screenings at the Clinton (TM3, Loose Change, Century Plaza), completed editing on Trailermania 4, and am entertaining a return to acting onscreen. All that may not be considered "profitable" or "real" work when compared with my past professional gigs....but I enjoy doing it. I mean.....who really knows what's going to work? And why settle for something you don't care about? I realize that the rubber will meet the road and that bills must be paid, but at this point, I'm up for anything...

Headstone has been laid...

2006-05-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

To my surprise, the girls headstone came to rest on the 11th - approximately two weeks earlier than I had expected. I noted that a yellow marker flag labeled "Hamilton Twins" had be placed at the site on the 10th, so I guess that should have been my clue that the headstone was not far behind.

The stonemasons did a great job. The granite is etched well - and bears the signature quotation "To rare for anywhere but their ancient Celtic home". A beautiful and mysterious verse written by Wendy - a good friend of ours from Bridgeport.

Additionally, I've included a link to the slideshow I produced for the memorial service. The file is large (45mb) - and is formatted in QuickTime, so please bear with the download. I thought it turned out nicely.

Eleanor and Quinns' slideshow

A month along...

2006-05-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

So....it's been a month since the twins passed.

In that time, we've started back into routines and attempted to regain some normalcy in our lives. While Alex was cleaning, scrapbooking and organizing - I was printing photos and trying to reign in the chaos that is my basement. Normal things in an abnormal situation. Our lives were peppered with an occasional respite - a phone call from a friend - priceless trips to the park with Greer - an evening away from home.

Alex is back to work now - and Greer is in part-time daycare. I'm looking for work and wondering what the next step is.

I visit the girls almost every day and enjoy my time maintaining the site - and occasionally placing a sprig of lilac on the grave. After the headstone is laid (probably within the next two weeks), we plan to dress things up. We are blessed to have that option - as the pioneer cemetery offers a great degree of customization of the sites. Interestingly, there are a great many East European immigrants buried at Pioneer Memorial as a result. Because it is an old cemetery, they can enjoy new large standing memorials - often, with a photo of the departed etched into the stone. The girls are buried across the road from a Russian family matriarch - who bears a funny resemblance to the caricatured housewives in Monty Python's Flying Circus. Alexis and I affectionately call her "Mrs. Gorilla" - and she watches over things while we are away.

I miss my girls.

I've been dreaming about my kids lately. Last night, I dreamed of Greer as a teenager - his face a combination of beauty and defiance. His hair, a shock of brilliant magenta. My punk rock son. The girls have become something else. Sometimes I see them as shining spirits who guide and defend others. Maybe it's a feeling rooted in what might have been. Perhaps its a glimpse of some other world that I wish existed.

All I know is that they are at peace.

It's My Birthday, and I'll Cry If I Want To.

2006-04-29T22:17:00.000-07:00

35....and counting.

It's just short of two weeks since the girls passed. I have been to the grave several times since then. To reclaim the cross arrangement from the site. To refresh the grounds with new flowers.

I am heartened that I can see them from 82nd or Holgate. It will be good to visit them.

So....another year older. Spent the afternoon with family and shared a tasty birthday BBQ. My mom, dad, aunt and I have birthdays between April and May, so we celebrate as a unit. It's like Christmas in Springtime. Greer played nicely with his younger cousin - and generally wore himself down with horseplay and shameless giggling. Later, I received a couple of birthday phone calls - including a serenade from my pastor and her spouse. What more can you ask for?

I do feel a little foolish for allowing my 35th to pass (on a Saturday night, no less) without some sort of evening celebration with my friends, but given the circumstances of the last month..... Maybe we'll do something later. I would enjoy the company.

Spent the last couple days working and cleaning, for the most part. We approved the headstone for the girls on Monday - and look forward to seeing it placed sometime in late May/early June. There have been breaks....a lunch together, a walk in the park - and the spontaneous procurement of ice cream. Greer has been in daycare part-time - and we've been spending a lot of effort trying to reclaim the house from the last several weeks. It's something that keeps us occupied while we process things. Each room is getting attention - and the basement is gradually becoming less of a pit. The yard is still a jungle, but I expect to address that next week.

My recent screening at the Clinton was its usual lowbrow self. A small group for each of the DAY AFTER EARTH DAY shows. Still, I enjoyed every minute of it. Showing films felt normal, and the subject matter was close to my heart.

The Clinton has helped fill a space in my soul.

When the girls were still in the hospital, I took some time away and attended a sold out screening at the CST of Les Claypool's new film, Electric Apricot: Quest for Festeroo. When I arrived amongst the throng of fans, I found immediate support from the theater staff. Hugs and tears all around. Since Seth and Nicola know Les and his wife, I found myself at their table. It was a surreal experience as I sat across from them - prior to the show - and had to tell them my sad news. It was the only thing I could bring as a conversation piece. Thankfully, they were kind - and offered support and sympathy. In the midst of it all, Seth asked me to introduce the film and the director/producer Q&A following the show. It felt so strange to come from such sadness - to the thundering applause of a theater full of people. It was a gift. A moments rest. And then it was over.

When I first met Les, it was at a concert, right after we had Greer. I was a new father.

I wish the second meeting could have been more like the first.

Resting at the beach

2006-04-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a Lincoln City internet cafe - thinking about the past week. Alex, Greer and I have escaped to the coast with a little help from some friends. Some time to ourselves to release a little stress.

It's been decent weather - and Greer gets a big kick out of the beach. We stopped by Gleneden Beach last night to watch the surf - and managed to get our feet wet when a sneaker wave caught Greer and I. He was laughing the whole time. He also enjoyed the Oregon Aquarium in Newport - and couldn't stop talking about the sharks.

I'm on my way back through town to pick up some necessities - and maybe some shrimp to cook up.

We'll be back this weekend...I'll be doing a show at the Clinton on Sunday night.

Reflecting on things...

2006-04-17T17:03:00.000-07:00

Time experiences an elasticity when you are in crisis. Your focus tightens and you are consumed with the resolution or outcome. The last two weeks feels like two years. We shared the girls for 14 days - and in that time, they met almost all of our family and friends - had at least a thousand photos taken of them - got to interact with their big brother, Greer - take a stroller ride in the park on a sunny day - and became a beautiful vortex for our family. They were loved unconditionally and completely by family, friends and complete strangers. All of that living in 14 days.

Placing the girls to rest - however - turned out to have some challenging moments.

When we realized that the girls were going to pass - I suggested that we use a family plot in the Pioneer Cemetary at 82nd and Holgate - where my great grandparents (Peck) are buried. There was some concern about the nearby traffic, so we checked with another recommended modern cemetary nearby - that wasn't so close to a busy street. At this cemetary, the plot was free because of their age. So....after we settled on a few details (and some paperwork) with a funeral counselor - we went to look at the site....which sadly, was not what we wanted for the twins. The site was crowded and had no character. It also was a special children's section, so it had a very sad feeling (pinwheels, toys, etc) associated with it. After some quick phone calls, I canceled the arrangements and set up the internment for Pioneer Cemetary. Thankfully, we've never been more sure about the decision - and the resolution of this gave us a better peace about where the girls would be. It also affords us the option of being with them - when Alexis and I retire from this mortal coil.

Before the graveside service, I went into our backyard and picked some grape hiacynth to place in the casket. Something from home to take with them.

Saturday morning at 11am. It was raining lightly and looked somberly cinematic in mood. Men and women dressed in black. A tent erected in a graveyard. A small casket. I was wearing a new black suit - and feeling older. I don't remember all the words that were said, but it was beautiful and sad. My brother took a camera and helped record a few important moments. The placing of flowers. The often unrecorded actions of beauty.

The memorial on Saturday afternoon was amazing. I saw so many old friends. It was one of those times where your faith in humanity receieves a lift. So much support and love - that I can hardly express our gratitude. The church was packed (about 175) and the service was much what I had hoped for. A celebration and affirmation of life. Our beautiful girls...

On another note....the floral arrangements at the church memorial were later crafted into a flower cross for the Easter Sunday service. Just knowing that these mourning flowers - could be transformed into a celebration of resurrection - made me smile.

After Easter, we placed the cross with the girls. It looks beautiful.

Services for Eleanor and Quinn

2006-04-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

For everyone who has traveled with us on this journey.....

We will be having a memorial service for Eleanor and Quinn this Saturday (April 15) at 4pm.

Here is the address:

Bridgeport United Church of Christ
621 NE 76th (1 block North of Glisan)

Again...thank you for all your support and prayers.

Eleanor and Quinn - Rest in Peace

2006-04-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

It's all over.

Eleanor Peck Hamilton passed into glory at 2:15pm this afternoon. Alexis was holding her in our living room when she slipped away.

Rowan Quinn Hamilton followed her sister at 3:40pm - after having a couple of small seizures. She was tenacious until the end, when she died in her crib - her mom and dad holding her hands.

Goodbye sweethearts.....heaven is your playground.

Wednesday's children

2006-04-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

Quinn looks to be going home very soon. Her color and tone have changed dramatically in the last 12 hours, and her breathing has dropped off as well. Eleanor seems to be not far behind. Since this morning, she has slowly been changing color and drifting.

Both have started receiving regular doses of morphine and another anti-seizure drug to help alleviate any discomfort.

The next 12-24 hours will probably see the twins complete their journey together. Family is gathering - and they will be surrounded with love when they go.

Your continued prayers for peaceful transition are loved and appreciated.

Another dose for Eleanor

2006-04-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

Still trying to keep up with my early/late updates. Just came down from sleeping next to Alexis and Greer. Eleanor was showing more signs of distress this morning (pinched face, etc.) so I gave her another dose of morphine to calm her. Quinn seems to be fine - although she cries softly at times. She's been the one with the voice thus far. Yesterday, when we were holding them, our hospice doctor spoke admirably of Quinn's sweet singing - a singular note that she would intone after each breath. We listened to it through the stethoscope and imagined the songs that might have been.

Starting to get a little sad again. The need to give painkillers to the twins brings me back to reality. I've been so busy enjoying them at home, that I've ignored the shadows. Now....I'm just asking God for one more pain-free day.

Today will see more visitors - and the prospect of a family portrait. My aunt Maxine and Uncle Ed are coming by - as are my photographer friends Mike and Amy.

I just would like them to be stable and calm....and hope that their coming passage is much the same.

Full day with some distress

2006-04-11T23:08:00.000-07:00

Fairly relaxed day with the family (Alex's sister, husband and neice are staying with us) that included a trip to a local park - using the wonderful twin stroller we'd received. Greer road shotgun - while the twins cuddled in the big back seat. I arrived with mom for a short time of playing on the swings/slides with Greer. The girls sat with mom and soaked up a little sunshine.

Received visits from Susan and our Hospice nurse. Seth and Nicola stopped by with their kids and said hi. While the nurse was checking up, Quinn decided to start feeding a little - sucking for a minute or two. She also opened her eyes several times while she was pulling away on the nipple. Eleanor made a little effort - but they are still not getting much.

After dinner, we camped downstairs to watch some Star Trek - when Quinn started to register a little distress on her face. After several expressions that looked like pain, we gave her a dose of morphine that the doctor had prescribed for such an occurrence. Not long after Quinn....Eleanor began to make similar faces. We gave her a dose as well. Both are relaxed now, and sleeping in our room - along with Greer. We'll keep checking throughout the night to make sure they are comfortable.

I've posted photos of this past weekend....please check my Flicker site.

Another day with the girls...

2006-04-11T06:49:00.000-07:00

It's early on Tuesday morning, and I'm trying to write while the house is still asleep. Alex is concerned that my efforts to process all of this is taking me away from my family during these precious days. So, I'm making an adjustment...

Since they've been home, the girls haven't eaten much - if anything. Our decision not to tube feed is very hard for me, but I still stand behind our decision. We are offering them the bottle and breast, but they are so affected by their condition that natural feeding isn't happening. The hospice nurse told us it could take up to two weeks for the process to finish - if they continue to refuse milk. Even though I know it will prolong the grief, I pray that God would give them strength to eat....just a little.....if only to see my sleeping beauties nurse again.

As we were sitting with Alex's parents late last night - holding the girls - I spent a long moment looking at Eleanor. She and her sister are becoming more beautiful as the days pass. Headed into their second week of life, they have an ethereal glow. They are the most perfect dolls - their bodies soft and at peace. They don't cry or move - except for the soft gurgles and occasional hiccups.

Today we will go out with the girls. Perhaps to the Japanese gardens or another peaceful spot.

We're just glad that we have this time to be with them.

God's laughter

2006-04-10T07:33:00.000-07:00

"If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans."
- Old Yiddish Proverb

This weekend was staggering and beautiful. Alexis and I were overwhelmed with love and support as we shared our daughters company with others. Wave after wave of prayers, hugs, tears and humanity. Old and new friends met with us, held our babies, and shared the weight of our circumstance. Greer was able to meet his sisters for the first time - and seemed to understand - by repeating "Quinn (Eleanor) sick!"

When the visiting time was over, our family retired for some dinner and a little distraction from the coming sadness. Our families sat across from each other and ate what felt like a last meal of sorts....knowing....but not really knowing what was to come. Afterwards, Alexis and I walked over to the chapel and prayed for the girls and wept. I noted a woman kneeling in a nearby alse.....and I saw her stand and leave. A moment later, she returned with a box of Kleneex and few kind words. Just one of the countless acts of compassion we have experienced on this road.

When we finally arrived in the NICU, the weight was heavy. We were late, but the resident harpist who came to perform for us had already begun playing for the girls. We cried as we took turns bathing their tiny bodies - careful to avoid pulling on their tubes and wires. We removed the pajamas that the NICU had provided and dressed them in their homegoing clothes. A pair of nurses came to help turn of their machines and finally...the remove their breathing tubes. When the tubes were out and they we free, it was like our babies had been returned to us. No more manmade luggage. They were beautiful.

We walked down a long hall to one of the patient suites where our family was waiting. The girls were cooing and gurgling as we sat in a pair of rocking chairs. We were soon joined by the harpist who continued to play - as we began to spend our time together as a family. Greer greeted his sisters again and worked the room....a tired and distracted boy. He touched them on the head and spoke their names. Before he left with Uncle Chris, he looked back and said "Bye, Quinn. Bye, Eleanor."

We sat there for hours. Talking, crying and celebrating our time together. I felt the sadness come and go. Every time I felt my heart cave in - I would hear Alexis say "I know." It has become our mantra.

After a while, it became apparent that the girls were doing ok without the respirator - and we started to make plans to go home with them. Our pastor, Susan agreed to drive us home - and stay the night with us. We held them close in the backseat of our van as we rolled up Highway 26 toward town. As we crossed the Ross Island Bridge to our eastside home, I told the girls about the different streets we were travelling on - and about our favorite places in town.

We arrived home around 1:30am - and sent Uncle Chris home as we prepared the girls for bed. To see them back together in their crib - twins together without all the tubes and wires - was a blessing. They snored softly and occasionally would let out a little cry. Despite the everything that had happened up to then - I felt a peace and joy that had eluded me up until then. They were home.

That night, we slept and slept....waking occasionally to check the girls. At 5am, I awoke to Greer wanting to join us in bed....which he did with a certain amount of toddler restlessness. We dozed until 7am - and were greated by the girls soft noises and sighs. Nothing had changed much. Both their heart rate and breathing were normal and there were no signs of distress.

Today was about relaxing and enjoying time with the twins. Both families came over and spent time holding and cuddling with the girls. Greer continued to discover his new sisters by holding them and giving kisses on their forehead. He also like taking off their hats - only to come back and attempt to put them back on. All in all - a good day.

In the meantime, the generosity of our friends has been overwhelmingly wonderful. We are brought delicious dinners, flowers, cards and the prayers of many.

We can't tell you how much it means....

Our big weekend

2006-04-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone.

The last couple of days have led us to make some terribly difficult decisions. After our meeting with the Hospice specialist on Thursday, a Genetic Counselor on Friday, and our loving pastor, Susan all throughout the process - Alexis and I have moved forward with a plan to release the girls from all their support systems and allow them to pass away naturally. It's the hardest choice we will probably ever make, but Alexis and I want them to be at peace and not suffer the seizures and physical decline that will accompany their disorder as they get older. Better that they rest in the arms of eternity and be free - than for us to hang on to them when there is no hope of recovery.

We have organized this weekend as a time for family and friends to say hello/goodbye to Eleanor and Quinn. We have small blocks of time reserved in the NICU for visitors on Saturday/Sunday - and will be celebrating their lives as we go. After everyone has had a chance to visit on Sunday, Alexis and I will dress them in the outfits they would have gone home in, and have some private time. After we are ready, we will have our immediate family join us - at which time we will take them off their ventilators and wait for them to pass into glory. While there is chance that they may hang on for a while, we expect that they will go quickly.

It has been a week of unbelieveable grief and heartache - and we can't see putting our family (and most importantly, Greer) through more than necessary - especially when Heaven awaits them.

Riding the unfathomable waves

2006-04-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

Alex and I had our immediate family around us yesterday as we headed back to the hospital for another meeting with the doctors. As we sat together in the NICU with our loved ones - we started to hear the hard details of our exceedingly rare and sad case. The twins are suffering from nonketotic hyperglycinemia (or NKH), a very rare (1 in 250,000) genetic metabolic disorder that creates elevated levels of glycine - a basic animo acid - in the blood and brain. There is no known cure - and brain damage and eventual death is sure - even with the aggressive therapies that are available.

I can't express to you how hard this is. Sadness comes to us in waves. We cry in shifts - and are just trying to cope as best we can. Having our parents - and the support of our family and friends has been a tremendous help. After we visited the twins yesterday, we picked up Greer and headed out for some lunch and a little time at the duck pond. Just for a short time, we were able to push back the heartsickness and focus on our family - and most importantly, our beautiful boy. He truly is a blessing and a miracle.

Today we have an appointment to see the hospice doctor to discuss what our options might be if we were able to bring them home. We may not even have the opportunity - as both Eleanor and Quinn are now on assisted breathing.

As much as I anticipate seeing them again, there is an unfathomable pain that comes with it. It is like watching someone you desperately love disappear slowly into space. You know there is peace and the arms of eternity waiting for them, but you are left behind to bear the loss.

Please continue praying and thinking of us as we continue this journey.

Heartbreak on a beautiful day...

2006-04-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day today. The sun was shining through and the air was warm. Sadly, we could not enjoy it.

Today we learned the news that changed our lives. According to an OHSU specialist and Eleanor and Quinn's attending physician - Dr. Rabin - the twins have an untreatable metabolic disorder that will eventually end their lives. Sadly, they are in perfect health, with the exception of their inability to metabolize a crucial protein that the body produces.

The doctor said they might survive as long as two years - but they will never awaken from their 'sleep'.

We are heartbroken.

After we received the news, Alex and I had a chance to hold the girls in our arms. Despite all the tubes and wires coming out of them, I could feel them move, breath and make small, infant noises.

I have never cried so hard in all of my life.

Photos from ICU - still waiting

2006-04-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

Nothing new to report this morning - other than we should be hearing from OHSU sometime today. Depending on the results, the girls might be headed over to Doernbecher Children's Hospital.

I've posted a couple photos of our beautiful girls from ICU.

Waiting for OHSU...

2006-04-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

Even though today didn't yield much change for the twins, the doctors may be onto something. Their metabolic investigation showed a potential intolerance for protein - one that resulted in elevated levels of ammonia in both their systems. Ammonia in high levels can be toxic to the brain and creates lethargy and hypotonic behavior - very similar to the twins behavior. Currently, the twins are on a protein-free IV drip - which seems to be curtailing the ammonia issue.

Additionally, Providence sent bloodwork to OHSU for further metabolic analysis - and we hope to hear from them in the next day or so. If it turns out they need a special diet to fit their possible metabolic disorder - they may need to be relocated to OHSU for a spell. Ugh. Well....at least they would be closer to us.

During our visit today (after we dropped Greer w/his aunt Dianne), we were able to hold both of them for a short time. Alex and I switched back and forth - talking softly to them about our day - how their big brother Greer misses them - and how we look forward to taking them home when they are feeling better. The nurses seem to think they are more responsive than yesterday - and they did a fair amount of shifting, pushing and moving around....so, that was encouraging.

We'll be back tomorrow...

Back home - Nothing new to report

2006-04-03T00:27:00.000-07:00

Alex and I are home now. We checked out from Providence this afternoon. After sending my Greer-sitting inlaws back home, we spent some time getting reaquainted with our boy. He was very happy to see us - and we couldn't wait to catch up with him. I think he knows that somthing is wrong. He only met Quinn once, but he recognizes that she's "sick".

We received a call from the hospital - saying that nothing new had happened. They also mentioned that they would be sending test material out to OHSU - to get some further analysis. Hopefully, we'll have some answers soon.

Very tired - as is Alex. After we got Greer down, we collapsed into bed and fell asleep to an old Star Trek episode. Since I forgot to put out the trash before I crashed, I had to deal with that when I woke around midnight - and now I'm up as a result. I'm writing - and feeling an empty pit in my stomach.

We've received much support and many prayers - and know that the girls are in God's hands.

Quinn in ICU

2006-04-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

So...It's been quite a dramatic 24 hours for Alexis and I.

Since my last update, Quinn has joined Eleanor in the neo-natal ICU at Providence St. Vincent. For some unknown reason, they are both having problems feeding, staying conscious and are largely unresponsive to outside stimuli. Tests have been run for infection, bacteria, etc - and everything has come back normal or negative. While this is good news, the doctors are still at a loss to explain what is wrong. At this point, they think it might be a metabolic problem that both of them share, but they still running more tests to find out.

Obviously, we are very distraught - and ask for your continued prayers and support during this difficult time.

Eleanor in ICU

2006-04-01T17:28:00.000-08:00

On my way back to the hospital (with Greer and in-laws in tow), Alex called to let me know that the nurses had taken Eleanor to the neo-natal ICU with a possible infection. Apparently, Eleanor was not getting enough oxygen in her blood - which caused her to have problems staying awake during feedings, etc. After arriving, Duncan and I went to visit Eleanor in the ICU and speak with the doctors about what to expect next. In response to possible infections, they have her on antibiotics and a ventiator to aid her oxygen intake. They have also been running a battery of tests to check for infection, etc. The doctor expects to have her in the ICU for up to a week - and Alex and I will most likely stay until Monday to make sure Quinn doesn't have any similar problems. As of now, Quinn is plugging along - eating well and responding quickly to outside stimuli like a healthy baby. So...we can be thankful for that.

That's the latest for now...

Thanks for your continued prayers and support.

Day Three at Providence

2006-04-01T07:54:00.000-08:00

Things are headed down the home stretch on this end. We will probably be staying the night again tonight - due to some feeding and jaundice issues with Eleanor. She has been sleeping most of the time and taking it easy. Quinn is doing swimmingly - outeating her sister and generally being more lively. Currently, both are feeding with mom and attempting to adhere a schedule of sorts. Later today, I'll be bringing Greer and family back to the hospital for their first visit.

Hopefully, we'll be headed home tomorrow!

PHOTOS!!!

2006-03-31T08:16:00.000-08:00

If you would like to see the latest photos - I've posted them at my Flickr site!

They're Here!

2006-03-30T16:57:00.000-08:00

Not long after my last blog - things started to get busy. Alex started gave warning signals about sharp pains and pressure....and within a few minutes, we were headed to the O.R. - the girls were on their way! I knew it was serious when I was handed booties and a blue surgical outfit.

The birth was another amazingly quick and smooth delivery for Alex. Eleanor (6lbs-6oz - 19.75in) came into the world at 1:46pm, and her sister Quinn (5lbs-4oz - 18.5in)debuted at 1:52pm. Both are in great shape and nesting with Mom. I'm in the hospital restaurant - grabbing some lunch and taking a quick breather.

Well folks, it's as amazing as I thought it would be. They are as beautiful as I imagined. I am falling in love again....twice.

Photos coming soon!

Welcome to the Delivery Room

2006-03-30T13:01:00.000-08:00

We're edging into the afternoon over at the hospital. The trip over and checking in went without a hitch. Alex didn't sleep at all last night due to plenty of pushing/pulling of the twins. Quinns' heart rate has been dropping in and out on the monitor - and the nurses have had to come in and make adjustments to insure that she is doing well. Alex received an epideral about an hour ago and is doing much better with the increased contractions and associated pain.

She took a short nap and just woke up.

COMING SOON: Eleanor and Quinn!

2006-03-29T13:48:00.000-08:00

Hello all.

Despite not having blogging in what seems like an eternity, I am surfacing to let folks know that our new twin girls (Eleanor and Quinn) are set to make their big debut sometime tomorrow afternoon. Alex and I are headed to St. V's
this evening - and will start the process around midnight.

I may be blogging from the hospital with photos/commentary - we'll just see how it goes.

Strangely, I'm not very nervous, and all things are pointing toward a favorable delivery. Alex has been handling everything like a trooper, and has enjoyed being able to take it easier the last couple of weeks. Items have been purchased and built. Clothes washed and put away. The great welcome wagon has been prepared - and the detrius of babyland can be seen far and wide.

It's up to you - Eleanor and Quinn....my beautiful girls.

2006 arrives...Dave departs

2006-01-20T09:56:00.000-08:00

Can't begin to summarize the past few weeks....it's like the rollercoaster that never ends.

With the holiday season past, the reality of unemployment and getting prepped for the massive responsibilities that the twins will bring has offically set in. I took down the decorations and began to balance my time between housework, projects and trying to stay out of that dark place that my moods can take me. The days pass pretty quickly when this is the regimine...

Wash, Rinse, Repeat. Then the morning of January 11th hit like a ton of bricks.

I was getting Greer ready for daycare when the call came at 8am. It was Dad...I could hear my Mom sobbing in the background. Our uncle Dave - husband to my Mom's sister, occasional caregiver for Greer and manager of our housing affairs - had suddenly passed away at the breakfast table...the victim of an apparent heart attack. Went for a walk...sat down to pray for breakfast...and was gone, just like that.

Unbelievable - and strangely, par for the course.

Spent the next week preparing for the memorial by producing a dvd slideshow and helping the family with whatever they needed. I'm still dealing with some aspects of the aftermath...working on a website and just being there for Dianne.

Semi-sane Christmas

2005-12-31T14:56:00.000-08:00

It's mid-afternoon on New Year's Eve - and I'm sitting in my parent's basement wearing noise-canceling headphones. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

This final weekend of 2005 was to be the 2nd half of our family Christmas....a time of celebration and relaxation with the folks....except that it decided to rain in the biblical sense yesterday, and now their basement is leaking water. So, there are three rather loud wet-dry vacs sucking away the carpets - and thus - I am trying to save my hearing while attempting to beat back the H20. I've been trading water-sucking shifts with my folks for the past 15 hours - and expect to be doing the same until we leave on Sunday. Happy New Year everyone! When it rains it pours...heh.

Thankfully, the downpour has abated somewhat...and the leaking has dried up a little and been isolated to three areas. I can only pray that things continue to improve waterwise before we leave.

++ UPDATE ++

Water eventually dried up after we left and everything turned out ok. Thankfully, I was up late watching a movie that particular night when the leakage commenced...otherwise things could have been a lot worse.

++ BACK TO CHRISTMAS ++

Overall, it was pretty low-impact up at the Crumps in Olympia. Plenty of eating, drinking and laying around. Greer was good for almost being two years old...and the grandparents got plenty of face time with him. The spectre of unemployment and uncertainty hung over me like a little dark cloud, but thankfully there were plenty of distractions. Good Christmas....all in all.

As noted above, we headed over to The Dalles the following weekend to celebrate the holidays with my folks. Aside from the basement leak throwing things into chaos prior to New Years, the parents took good care of us and Alex and I were able to get out to catch "Narnia" while they looked after the boy.

I'll be home for the holidays....

2005-12-22T13:20:00.001-08:00

Sad to say, but last Friday saw me enter the ranks of the newly jobless. After 13 months of working to fit in at CMA, time and patience finally ran out. I tried to make it work, but it was just too much.

As Han Solo would say...."Here's where the fun begins."

This past week has been a real emotional rollercoaster of sorts. I've been doing my best to stay busy (holidays take care of that) and try not to dwell on the monster decisions that are looming. There is a good chance that this blog may be forced into retirement in the coming months, as we make adjustments and begin financial juggling. Thankfully, my family is very supportive and doing everything to keep us grounded given the circumstances. Greer will probably stay in daycare for a bit until we get a better idea how things will shake down, but eventually he'll be home with me. I'm hoping to work from home on a few side projects, but it's been a while - and back then I didn't have the same familial obligations that are on the horizon. I can honestly say, that this is the biggest challenge I've ever faced. I just hope I have the strength and perserverance (with God's help) to keep things together.

Thanks to everyone who has offered support and good wishes.

In other news...

The twins are doing well! Alex had a very positive visit to the M.D. this morning - and everything looks 5 by 5. Hopefully, she will have the energy to continue working as we get further along. As it stands now, she needs the rest whenever she can get it....thankfully, my current status allows me to cover many of the housekeeping issues and support her needs. We're going to have to get pretty creative in the coming days....

Just in time for Christmas...

2005-12-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

In the whirlwind that has been the last month or so, much has been lost in the shuffle. Good times and various shades of grey have marked my moods, so much so that I've lost track of this blog. Well, I'm going to take (yet another) stab at keeping this thing going. It's not like I don't have anything to talk about...heh.

Speaking of which, Alex and I receieved some good news yesterday about our latest addition to the family. Our twin girls are doing well, and more importantly, are not monoamneotic as previously thought. This means that the risks are considerably diminished - and we don't have to worry quite so much about extended hosptialization and monitoring. There's still plenty to plan for, but it takes a little of the weight off our shoulders.

Beyond that excellent news, we are actively talking to family, thinking about names and trying to prepare for their arrival in spring.

In other news....I'm putting together another Martin Luther King Jr. tribute at the Clinton next month. I'll be screening two 16mm films - and am really looking forward to getting behind the projector again. Hopefully, folks will respond like they did last year.

Home again...post-Thanksgiving

2005-11-26T23:40:00.000-08:00

Back in The Dalles for the weekend..a little parade action on Friday with the family. A lot of tooling around and playing with Greer - with Alex doing double duty. T.D. is growing with industry investment - Google is planting itself on the Columbia waterfront and 300k houses are being built on the heights. Its odd, but welcome - for a community so used to economic depression and industry bail-out.

Chris stopped in and is watching 24 Hours on Craigslist with me - while everyone else sleeps. The usual faire....family, food and late-nite films. It's been nice to relax for a bit....we'll be headed back tomorrow.

Some of you might know this, but Alex and I are going to be parents again! We went in last week to get an ultrasound on what we thought was a single child and found out that we are going to be having twin girls in 2006! Big news, anyone? I'm still a little speechless...

Halloween reunion

2005-11-01T22:45:00.000-08:00

Apologies all around for the latest silence. As my last entry explained in great detail, things at the office are reaching critical mass and I haven't had the will to blog about it.

Thankfully, life throws you interesting curves now and then. Specifically, a call I recieved from a couple old jr high school buddies and their Halloween party last weekend. Don and Eric went to grade school/jr. high with me at Salem Private/Valley Christian in Keizer, OR. We have a few stories between us....of playing basketball, getting into trouble and going to school in a setting staffed by Bob Jones graduates. Oddly enough, the school grounds now serves as a police station. Coincidence?

Anyway, Don and Eric put together a great Halloween party. They decked the house with great props and lighting - and plenty of beer and grub for the masses. We had some great conversations - got to reminese a bit, and generally had a good time. Met some interesting folks through them as as well. Among them, a sound guy who is currently serving in the National Guard - and known as "Sarge" to his friends. We spoke about the war and his thoughts....and I was interested to hear about his reservations and misgivings about the rationale for Iraq. Hope he doesn't get called up.

Aside from too much brew and not enough heat (ended up sleeping in my toga) , it was great to see them both - and I hope to maintain contact with them a little more often. Both are attending PSU for electrical engineering - so I gotta get em' over for a visit.

Work blues...

2005-10-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

It's been a long, hard slog since my last blog. My work situation is pulling me down and not letting me back up. Many of the issues I stuggled with and blogged about a year ago are rising up again, and I'm really fighting to beat them back. I've got friends at work helping whenever they can, but the overwhelming sense of confusion about the job has knocked me for a serious loop. The level of detail continues to vex - and after a year of clocking in, I still feel like I rookie with no game. Tired of relying on others to figure out my problems - and feel like it's only a matter of time before the hammmer comes down. Even now....as deadlines loom and code issues go unsolved....I feel my dismissal is nigh. It's the worst feeling I've had (outside of my stint with Randstad) on the job. At least at Providence, I knew what I was doing. Starting to feel that ugly vibe of insecurity and instability rising in my throat. Something I promised myself I'd never feel again back in the bad old days of 2001. Before Providence. Before Greer.

Many things may be changing in the next year....and once more, I'll be along for the ride - my inability to act punctuating my decline.

Nevermind....no one but me will read this. In some ways, I hate myself for having written the words, as they are a reflection of my tendancy to stew in my own juice.

Wake up, Greg. Your time is almost up.