Work blues...

It's been a long, hard slog since my last blog. My work situation is pulling me down and not letting me back up. Many of the issues I stuggled with and blogged about a year ago are rising up again, and I'm really fighting to beat them back. I've got friends at work helping whenever they can, but the overwhelming sense of confusion about the job has knocked me for a serious loop. The level of detail continues to vex - and after a year of clocking in, I still feel like I rookie with no game. Tired of relying on others to figure out my problems - and feel like it's only a matter of time before the hammmer comes down. Even now....as deadlines loom and code issues go unsolved....I feel my dismissal is nigh. It's the worst feeling I've had (outside of my stint with Randstad) on the job. At least at Providence, I knew what I was doing. Starting to feel that ugly vibe of insecurity and instability rising in my throat. Something I promised myself I'd never feel again back in the bad old days of 2001. Before Providence. Before Greer.

Many things may be changing in the next year....and once more, I'll be along for the ride - my inability to act punctuating my decline.

Nevermind....no one but me will read this. In some ways, I hate myself for having written the words, as they are a reflection of my tendancy to stew in my own juice.

Wake up, Greg. Your time is almost up.