Another day with the girls...
It's early on Tuesday morning, and I'm trying to write while the house is still asleep. Alex is concerned that my efforts to process all of this is taking me away from my family during these precious days. So, I'm making an adjustment...
Since they've been home, the girls haven't eaten much - if anything. Our decision not to tube feed is very hard for me, but I still stand behind our decision. We are offering them the bottle and breast, but they are so affected by their condition that natural feeding isn't happening. The hospice nurse told us it could take up to two weeks for the process to finish - if they continue to refuse milk. Even though I know it will prolong the grief, I pray that God would give them strength to eat....just a little.....if only to see my sleeping beauties nurse again.
As we were sitting with Alex's parents late last night - holding the girls - I spent a long moment looking at Eleanor. She and her sister are becoming more beautiful as the days pass. Headed into their second week of life, they have an ethereal glow. They are the most perfect dolls - their bodies soft and at peace. They don't cry or move - except for the soft gurgles and occasional hiccups.
Today we will go out with the girls. Perhaps to the Japanese gardens or another peaceful spot.
We're just glad that we have this time to be with them.
Since they've been home, the girls haven't eaten much - if anything. Our decision not to tube feed is very hard for me, but I still stand behind our decision. We are offering them the bottle and breast, but they are so affected by their condition that natural feeding isn't happening. The hospice nurse told us it could take up to two weeks for the process to finish - if they continue to refuse milk. Even though I know it will prolong the grief, I pray that God would give them strength to eat....just a little.....if only to see my sleeping beauties nurse again.
As we were sitting with Alex's parents late last night - holding the girls - I spent a long moment looking at Eleanor. She and her sister are becoming more beautiful as the days pass. Headed into their second week of life, they have an ethereal glow. They are the most perfect dolls - their bodies soft and at peace. They don't cry or move - except for the soft gurgles and occasional hiccups.
Today we will go out with the girls. Perhaps to the Japanese gardens or another peaceful spot.
We're just glad that we have this time to be with them.
3 Comments:
Through your Blog, you have blessed many others, far beyond what you can imagine. Thank you for sharing the depth of your emotions. Perhaps a chance for many to connect (or reconnect) with God in prayer for you and your family can be comforting, knowing that your girls have purpose in their short lives here. May God bless and be with you and your family.
Kay (Kristin's friend from PGE)
By
Anonymous, at 8:09 AM
Your writing is beautiful and very touching. Your courage in sharing your pain will mean so much to others in times of travail. More importantly, your ability to rejoice in the joy of holding and loving your daughters is uplifting. My prayers are with you and your family.
Pat (friend of Uncle Chris & mother of Windy)
By
Free Spirit, at 12:06 PM
It seems like you may be having the most Godly of all experiences here on Earth. We love you and our thoughts are with your family all day every day. With many blessings, Lisa Goddard and Family
By
Anonymous, at 7:56 PM
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